New Year Resolution

It's New Year's Day today - 1st of January 2025. 2024 has been a rocky year revealing my utmost strength in face of adversity and vulnerabilities and voids that still stir me in face of love. 

Gratitude for all. 

Yesterday Paashu asked me what is my resolution for this year. So here it is:

Howls of wind

Splashes of rain

Pound the earth today,

My heart resounding 

With the pit pit patter

Is trying to configure

The call of Nature;

Is it trumpet

Being blown 

On start of year this day

Pulling me out 

Of year long reverie

Urging to resume,

Recommence my march;

Or, is it a wail for truce 

Urging, beseeching to let go

Of all that comprise

Unfathomable dance of life,

And instead

Take deep dive into 

Unknown Eternity?

In wisdom, I take heart

I choose compromise 

With dramas that unfold

Endlessly into the living's lap-fold;

And so I rest, 

With Self on hold

In stillness I chant 

To my wearied self -

Inaction 

Is my resolution 

For Light. 

PS: inspiration for this resolution is this verse of Quran:

Light upon Light; Allah guides to His Light whomever He wishes. Allah draws parables for mankind and He has knowledge of all things.

Al-Nur, 24:35

 How to trust love when it changes faces like that of constantly shifting seasons?

हमने मौसम को बदलते देखा है -

चाहत वो शय है 

जो यक़ीन को बदलने नहीं देती।

Relationships ki ulajh

 अब दिशा बदल गई ... too late 

Time pass today. Was rankled by DP addressing me as Maata anc VM as Didi 💕💕

अर्जुन सखा बने थे 

और कृष्ण थे सारथी -

इस प्यास का जुनून था 

पर आज टूटी लगन मेरी 

प्यारों की संबोधन ने जो 

बाँके बंधुत्व के बंधन से , 

इनकार कर दिया 💔

😿😿😿

Solistice night 22.12.24

Night of Solistice 

It's been a long one 

After a long drawn 

Battle with life

I call for truce ...

Let me be

As I am - free

Of want of company 

Other than Thee 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Phew!!!

 You know at times 

It's necessary

medicinal entirely 

To annoy you 

Or, else you'll stay 

Lost in the world of Divine 

Uncaring for the mortal

That we know as flesh

And all that being flesh

Could entail ...

Oh the angst 

Of doctoring a twin soul 

I keep knocking down walls

To open the view

And then

All I can do is  

Sigh a phew!!!

Travelogue

 

Oh how I've travelled

no - rather wandered

in quest of home 

a family 

that's not in shame

is happy to call me own

hoping I'll be strong 

once I belong

in love to love.

So quickening my step 

I tread  

uphill and downhill 

wading through 

sea-storm and sand-storm

at times quicksand

held my feet

quashing all hope

of rising from fall.

I risked my name 

time umpteen and more 

tagged prodigal amore 

lashed with integral shame

yet despite earning the claim

in yearn and pain

I tarried with sojourn

for mate of soul;

I've walked over 

plain and thorn

through mist and fog

with fatigue to bog

I've endured, until

your fragrance incensed

to pursue trail

with a quick glance in mirror 

to catch a glimpse 

of what it showed

of what was left in store

of Self.

Lo and behold 

with sinking spirit

I notice

crinkling crowfeet 

sag at corner of eye

grey on head 

lines on face

whiteness of gaze

soreness of feet

buckle in knee-

all speak clear

I haven't much to offer.

Yet heart beckons

resolute in resolve 

to find my home

with fired spirit, 

saying you're near 

I'm nearly there

don't stop

don't give up.

So, though bereft 

I hasten my pace

with urge to wipe 

my tear and snuffle

hide my face 

burrowed deep in chest

to find finat rest 

in your arm I'll snuggle 

to be at home...

It's then that I hear 

past life's call

nadi reader pronounces

announcing grasp of maya 

it lures heart toward pleasure 

in worldly abode;

he warns to matter what

regardless of effort

it's not meant to be.

Hold on says Guru

hearken don't pursue 

there's no time to falter 

greater good suffer 

in this duel 

of sanity with senses 

wisdom it is

to choose good 

over pleasure

that's transient 

as for you

it's been written ahead 

you're destined

to don sanyasa.

I accept 

the call without

further ado 🙏🏼

 Dhup se udhari laga rahe hain

Agle baras lautayenge 

• from Rashmi Ma'am's garden

कोई मेल नहीं ना?

जहां असंख्य प्यार करने वाले 

पड़े तुम्हारी झोली में 

मेरे आँचल में नफ़रत, अवहेलना 

तिरस्कार अपमान के ढेरों समान पड़े हैं 

Hero se Zero ka 

कोई मेल hai hi नहीं। 

 It's morning

And I've to hold 

On to yearnings 

That make me snuggle

In memory

Of eyes that melt

Smell and feel 

Of stubble 

That secures 

Presence 

That increasingly 

Means more and more...

I am at sea

With varying emotions

A ship has lost sight

Of lighthouse signal.

I love the feeling of dependence. It makes me feel looked after... should I daresay loved??🥰 

 In your zest

To keep me 

Non dependent 

Ahem...

Yeah a lass independent 

And my determination

To snuggle deep

Laying my head to rest

I'm lost,

It all gets undone 

Wonder to whom 

Does this doing belong?

You or I 

Or Niyati??