Spell of the Name

All questions dissolve

As I sip elixir of your Name

Sitting in love

I set free

Every molecule

Disintegrates off self to soak

Sweetness of litany's shake

Thirsting for more

I call

Come Shaykh

Recite verse to initiate

My soul is ready to transform.

I love You Allah

For the nutre, respite

Tender healing care

I have received

From Your Grace.

Keep me close

Keep me safe 

Keep me warm

For all I have 

All I seek

All I want

Lies within circle 

Of Your embrace.

جسم شکستہ ہے 

روح کو ہے طاب 

--ہو تمہاری عطا رب 

مجھے شمس کی ہے تلاش 

At the Sun-door

Ananda Kentish Coomaraswamy (1887-1947) wrote: "When the deceased reaches the Sundoor, the question is asked, 'Who art thou?'"

I've come to Sun-door
and the old man with beard
with severity
asks with stamp of staff on ground:
"Who are you?"
I smile and bow
kneel down with humility
then say:
I'm one who was taught
to see
truth of love
that's there to stay
can only belong to Divinity
all that came my way
couldn't be labelled as chance or serendipity,
when storms raged across
my dry desert land
I stood up, peered through
tipping on toes to scan
I saw
all that blew my way
to consume, devour
from vice turned to virtuous
unconditional and undemanding - His love
alone stood by me
so here bear witness man
that I see today
with crystal clarity -
I'm His
captive in love
signing off bond of unquestioning servility
I am ready
to be ripped apart
torn gladly to bits
when summoned forth
I will gladly serve
Him and His, for all that is He.

I love You Allah.

محبّت خلق دے کرجرم شرک کا الزام دھرتے ہو 

فناے عشق میں اپنی بقا کا پیغام بھرتے ہو؟

تمہاری ہر عدا  ہر  فیصلہ منظور ہے خالق

جو میرے ساتھ  شفاے معشوق کا  بھی انتظام کرتے ہو

Cook me slow

Keep heat low
cook me on slow
tender as I am,
even though still raw
I'll be done -
just right
give me a wee bit
more time.

जागते रहो की गुहार 

लगा रहा मन का पहरेदार

जो चूक हुई इस बार 

लग्ज़िश, ठठकी, चौकस भटकी 

इक पल झपकी 

तो प्रिये 

रहना प्यासी इसी  पार!

Reborn

I was asleep
when You shook me wake
rocking, raking through and through
to see the Light
and at dawn begin to
know the call of Truth;
with Reality check
shadows started to flee
illusions faded
leaving eyes on clear
vision reached out to see
I felt then hearing strain
to listen and to heed
what purpose You
raiseth one and all
with rebirth
life began for me.

Knock not here

Who are you calling for?

No need to knock 

upon this door

for person you seek to speak

lives no longer here.

She's left
this home to reside far 

maybe in heavenly abode

Or gone to hell

for all I care;

I killed her

choking with my very hand

put her to rest in safe ground

I'm worn out now

have just returned 

with flowers to lay 

as wreath 

her grave's next door

I can put your name 

to it too, if you say

to make peace,

bless the wretched soul

here write, some scribble

to say 'bye and 'bye
on post-it  

I've glued 
by door beside 
to say:

Sabina that lived

lives here no more

apologies all if any miss 

she was sorry misfit 

in my world and your

she deserved not to stay.

She really had to go.

Take away your shadow -

don't dare cast

web of your thoughts 

on me anymore,

especially since in value

you care not in least

to join hands

preserve trust in light of Truth. 

Yes leave me alone

you do not belong 

between Him and me

I will crawl
I will scramble

From dark I'll drag
self out of hole

make every molecule
every particle strive

in attempt

at the very least 

to make Him see

among 7 billion 

me and my broken bowl

extends to Him alone

to receive anoint

for healing of 
my fractured soul.

Did I ask more

Than You desire

For me?

It's alright 

I with humility

recognise -

The infinite wisdom

Of Your decree.

Lead - I can't see the path

When did I ever pretend

That I am strong?

I am weaker than the blade

Of that grass

so easily trampled upon

And it twists, turns

This way and that 

Whichever direction wind blows on

I live so easily to die

In ignorant extinction

In every living moment

I am on verge

To sin and do wrong

So let there be no doubt

About that what I ask

In every prayer
that's a call upon You,

I say -

I need to be led

Not just shown the way...
Lead - I can't see the path.

Apology

Let me say

in repentance

that I err again and again

to unreasonably expect

my love to be returned

in reciprocation.

For what's given back

isn't mine, nor his or her 

for that matter

I am alone in choice 

to love those around

fill self as vessel
receive what's so exquisitely Divine
then that which comes my way 

through one heart or another

is mere reflection

of whats been bestowed 

of You they do distribute
what feels right
and is theirs to give
why bother then 
becomes mine?

Its Your gift

that I've received  

Whether in hurt or spurn

it comes sealed with Your kiss

handed through him or her

its couriered to my humble place
what choice have I 

but to accept
take it with grace
even if it's despise 

left alone to hand?

With this realization 
what cometh now

I receive with somber bow
no solace sought

there's no complaint

no question there 
to ask.

Did I ask for more

Than You desire

For me?

It's alright 

I do recognise

It's always

Wisdom that decides

Your decree.

Obituary

Tumhare daste karam ki qudrat

Isme Rabb se shifa mil gayi

Jo baat Hubbe Ali

Se ho shuroo, phir

Kalma-e- La ilaha tak gayi

Sirf shia thi main ab talak

Lo Sufi bhi Sabina ban gayi!

Khul ja Sim Sim

I said I'd been 

Waiting to be answered

trying hard

To be let in

Through the Door;

Woe - said the other

When was it ever closed?

He kept calling

Do come in,

And heedlessly 

There you stood

Went on knocking 

At the open door!

Take away the rainbow

Last night

A deluge of tears

Washed away all trace

Of pink, violet and red

Yellow and green

Don't seem to matter too

All that my heart 

Asks for now

Is from colours

Of blue and white

In You.

Unveiled

Hey hey hey

Sufi's talking 

of esoteric nature of veil

Its there to hide yet reveal

says he:

beauty is hidden

to let lover seek

true essence of form

and, ahaa thinks me

so is that why this game 

of hide and seek?

It sets out an eternal theme,

mortal - no wonder

is irresistibly drawn

to reach out
remove cover to meet

the Divine within
alluring veil of matter! 

Divine Alchemy

I expand

I constrict

Resist and desist 

Slapped and smacked

Then lulled by gentle Hand

Through turbulence 

I discover peace

Oh how exquisite

Is with Your name cast

Alchemy of a soul. 

Seek and you shall find

As I look around

In this jungle

With a maze of many a well-trod track

Running this way and that

With agonised gaze

I crumble,

Which direction should I take

Should I give up

Or continue to walk

How do I muster strength to take

Yet another step

That'll bring me closer to God?

A promise then appears

In consciousness I hear

A whisper form

Another story of success gets told

As if to subtly say:

Don't despair

Come on walk

It's writ clear on planetary scroll -

Seek and you'll find.

Rabb, Rahman. Rahim

names that portray

the Infinite and Boundless Grace,

It encompasses all 

and sustains

continually nourishing the finite,

human spirit is drawn

back to Source  - 

as the banished yearns

to reside again 

in heaven 

be with Him.

हरी दूब दुबक रही थी 

श्वेत बर्फ़ की चादर में

मानो मूक रूप से बतलाती हो

तन मन से जो रंग उतार 

सफ़ेद अपनाउूं तो 

पथिक पद से कुचले जाने का

भास न हो, अहसास न हो .

Sufi spoke -

Love and knowledge

Are reasons for creation

Of human soul -

By that account 

haven't I lived my role,

With knowing 

That it's love 

That puts beat and pulse

In this tireless heart

Can I take leave, depart

Having lived my purpose

Overall?

In the jungle of knowledge

Where each Source 

Emphasises it's true,

It's easy 

To be lost

To be misled

To decimate to nought

Dwell in darkness

Without ever laying sight

On true Light

That enquirer sought

On his way -

As this realisation dawns

I tremble

In my diminutive form

I accept

I am weak

I am meek

Mere guidance wouldn't suffice,

So when I pray

For the straight path

Do not just guide with lamp to shine

Or Illumine desired way

Rather lead by Hand

Every step if I may

I want to hold on to you

No less than this

Can I seek

Of the Divine.

Here am I

The mirror reflects:

A matter of Your creation

Summary of experiences

Gist of my thoughts

And, sum of all action - 

So that am I

Unpacked, unboxed for Thee.

I was sowed

And seeded

In garden of humanity

As I grow 

to reach out

To kiss sun and it's ray

Can't help feeling stifled

By overgrowth in my grass

Yellow weed of past stifles 

it's shadow is cast

Come Gardener to rescue

While my hour does last

The blossom is yet

To see light of its day.

I can smell 

Spring in air

Even though there

Is no green

To feast the sight

Rustle of chill

Still touches my bone

I am sure

I do sense

Spring is near.

What do I make

of dharma or adharma 

when 'all good'
in karma

that I am introduced to
or come across

in playing field 

of life

is delivered to my door
by bearer who bore

visible stamp of belonging
to alien quarter.
not favourably listed 

in rule book 

I was shown,
schooled with to refine

my sense of knowing
of the right from wrong?

It's no secret ...

I am the director of my life 

and you yours

This is the secret 

which makes us hit the rocks

laugh, go back and bounce

wee bit higher 

on throw that comes next :)

I prefer to
connect dots
than to mingle particles
in mix, for
connection celebrates
uniqueness of all
yet unites, brings together
in strength -
in mix, whereas
each particle dissolves
diminishing individual worth
to mingle as one
in common ordinariness.

Shrouded

My shroud

I know 

has many spots

of muck thats not pretty
rather is sully;

I scan and feel
very slight

then heart heartens

at a sight.

In one corner
to the left...

yes yes away from the right,

a slender thread

stands out

slim, still and shy

pristine white

as it holds me in shroud

as one whole
with its mere might'

I trace it's trail

in utter dimness

and lo happily I find

I am held firm
through it by You, so

keep strong your clutch

hold, don't let go;

please - it's my only

hope to see the Light.

Lone walker

Turns his head

To gaze ahead

As light recedes from him

- Come take his hand

For sake of grace

Stall, stop his fall

He dared walked this trail

With belief

In darkness he'll

Never be foresaken by Thee.

It's true 

I'm driven

These embers that You set alight

Have kindled the flames

My desire leaps and roars

Regardless

Whether winds blows against

Or in favour

It seeks for soul

Heights defined by You,

Law is Divine, Logic human

Admittedly -

Your laws govern the universe

Our logic leads to understand,

Laws of nature are steeped 

in perfection, whereas logic's  vulnerable to bias and flaws

Yet when,

journey of every mortal soul

Is outcome of Your Will

And this law

Defines our life's goal -

Where's there room

For any human life to fail 

Despite their many inherent flaw?

Notice. Be Warned

Keep away

Maintain safe distance

For creation is at play

With demolition 

And buiding in my space

My being's piled up

with rubble and disarray

I'm site for reconstruction

Watch out 

The board's on display

Work is in progress here!

To be juiced by You

Was painful

And to taste nectar 

Of my crushed being

Is infinitely sweet!

Tawba

To be sorry

And to return

To  what was shown 

Signed as decree

Of unborn soul

Is my Tawba -

Lead me

Brung the blind back

Home with You.

Every desire loses it's sheen

When ii get sneak preview

Of time with You

I escape the race and rut

Just and just 

To sit cross legged 

In Your company alone :)

खुद में खूदी की तलाश जारी है

सो अब के बरस

तनहा खुदाई से मेरी यारी है।

Here is what I see in mirror 

When I check on self

In dwindling twilight

It's dusk of life and I see-

A small frame

Hollowed eyes that try with dare

Not to cry

Fingers fumble 

As i unpick

Bits and pieces 

To sew together 

Yarns and yards

Of stories, myths and lies

That world spun 

To tell me about me

With no mortal soul 

To care or caress 

A feverish forehead

I accept abandonment

Bonds of blood and heart

Are right to steer clear 

Of persona with no accolade 

or award won

No penny seen as mine

Of millions that adorn in bank

In balance then

There isn't much to add

To spell meaning to flamboyant  lives

That care to measure, then approach

I have nought

But a loving heart to give

So I stand firm to let go

See here I stand alone

With all You gave 

written to be gone

From now on

In my bare brevity 

I ask -

Do tell me

Come on state, Manufacturer

Place Your price tag 

Put Your label on me

It's time to verify

What's my worth

net value

As such what do I 

Mean to You?

I say to myself -

I am tired of your 'prem-game'

In attempt to belong in vain

Here you dither

Avoid and turn

From One

For all mundane

That've left you

Will leave again

For a greener pasture

Only Him will remain

As before 

To help pick. recover

the broken scatter

From run over ground!

On this Christmas Eve

As I replay, reminisce, relive

Happy moments that've 

Gone past 

With the year that's just gone by

The ones that stand proud

Full of joy and awe

Are the ones spent 

In truly magical journey

I met Self

In your sweet, healing company

With courage and truth

I came to know

That potion of love

Is what matters most

In greens of Elspeet

Was where I learnt

With you

To live from truth

Serve with love

And importantly accept

And be in here and now

To lead 

A true Freeman's life!

To the journey friends -Thanks for sharing the best experience  of the year 2013 with me. May more wondrous things happen as 2014 draws us into its happy fold. May there be Love and peace always to behold... Merry Christmas and happy New Year!!!

Vacancy

All I need 

Is a joker in my life

To give a shot 

Of daily laugh

That'll suffice 

To make me move

I'll bluff

My way till

Death do us part.

बहुत लम्बा है रास्ता दीन का-

अभी तो बस मुसलमान हुऐ हैं

तुम तक पलट

अनगिनत अजूबों को समझ

बा मुश्किल

बेईमान से बाईमान हुऐ हैं!

शिकवा

तो आज कहते हो -

तुम खुबसूरत हो

और वह वक़्त भी था जब

मेरी तक रही टकटकी

तुम्हारी नजरों से

अपने प्रतीत स्वरूप की 

पहचान पूछती थी

तुम्हारे अपनापे में सिमट

स्वयं का मान सम्मान

ढ़ुंढ़ती थी

और मेरा आईना़

तुम्हारा अस्तित्व

समूचे ज़माने की गरद लिए

मेरे प्रतिबिम्ब को धुमिल कर

प्रेम के नाम पर 

कुरूपता का प्रमाण पत्र 

निषठुरता से दे चल बढ़ा था

.............................

हाँ तुम्हारे ही हस्ताक्षर ने

तो मुस्कुरा कर -

आजीवन क़ैद का हुक्म दिया था -

अब आज कहते हो

तुम खुबसूरत हो!

Between life and death
hangs firm on earth

my inconstant physical form

with much sensibility and sense
it harbours and nurtures

the constant and eternal
sublime soul
I want to pen,
state today in written, certain words
I owe hugely in gratitude
its tarried forth with courage
its stalled against all odds
with certitude...
thank you!

Honouring togetherness

In the perfect imperfection 

Of my being

I've lived life 

Only to understand

It's best to rest in peace

Keep order 

Leave in respective place

all as it 

In surrender to Divine Will

So here hold hand

Help me lay wreath

On bear moments

That adorn monuments

Of the time we've spent

Lovingly together.

If I came from you...

Aboard Jet Airways

Headed home 

Where there is no love

To beckon

Just sense of duty's call

Tugs me across 

Many borders of land;

My heart's in despair

Asking nought 

But to run and run

Be Milkha of my life

To reach and 

Dive deep 

In the thick of your chest

To find final rest

Just where the Master 

Had sprung me from -

O Life, take me to my nest

In seat of my spiritual form.

Let it flow

Why am I so?

I watch any pain 

On screen

Story of unfulfilled love

Separation that I know

It's life's norm

And tears begin to roll

In deluge

Is this my own pain

That's dug out 

of deep well 

Where it was hidden

Shelved away from sight 

Shielding own sense and vision

Until when another story 

Strikes as spade bites in

On dry earth 

To make give way

For waters -

They need flow 

To wash away, clean

Murky reminisces of time.

Kuch padha

Kuch likha bhi

Dil ki sargoshi suni

Aansoo ki barsat mein sichi

Akele pan ki aag mein paki

Yuun din dhala raat ki or

Phir raat roshan huwi

Bas aise hi tanha tanha

Main din raat 

khud se khud mein basi.

Shukran Allah.

Mind points a blaming finger
At heart
Which gazes allegedly
At You -

Where does that leave me
My friends

Body, heart and mind
Am I deserted completely
By all of you?

Transitions

This place that I sit 

To watch magnificence 

Of Your creation 

Gives me vantage and view

Of two transitions -

The edge of solid land 

With rocks and dry sand

Etched against 

Tumultuous, turbulent flow

Of sea water;

And then there's the sky - pink and rose

Set further beyond 

Near the line of horizon

It bows down

To meet in humility 

The serene blue

Of still and calmed - distant sea

Marking at last

Ascent of matter

With acceptance

From the distant Heaven.

I have crossed the first line

Transcending the second 

Is my goal.

Mirage of mind

No riches

No diamonds set in stone

No lavish endowment 

No jet set race

All I wanted

Was strong arms to brace

Where a weakling soul

Could turn in for respite

In surrender - tenderly rest my head

When times got thick

Going was tough

emotions ran raw

And 'me' needed to hide

Burying my face

Deep - in smell of your chest

I was seeking my shelter

With trust in Divine

And unshakeable belief

That then at that moment

Nothing could change - 

We were one

You were mine!

Miraculous, mystical, mysterious

Are words that surface

When I fish in sea of consciousness

Hoping to catch from left overs

Of loitering waves

The shell that encapsulates

All that I have felt of You

I love You.

My life is a space 

Given to me for dreams

I do not 

Want to wake up

Till my horizon's been reached.

Jotted on 28.1.10

Thanksgiving

It's thanksgiving today

And the long list

That puts flutter in my heart

Kindles the flame of joy

That flickers with light

To drive darkness away

Now and everyday

It's Your presence

That's been my saving Grace

So I whisper -

Thank you 

For letting it be known

That while that's there

Rest all will serenely

Fall in place.

This time the sea is sedate

coming on in gentle roll

calm without roar and uproar

not wanting to break to bits 

rocks that adorn the shore -

I scan surface

to witness 

settling of sea froth

to see clear 

my change of course

a year of tumult

has just gone past

graced by Your loving hand

that steered me through

to ease

at home in the deep

with stillness 

I rest in peace.

22.11.13

To try

is all that's human

- this ability

You endowed us with

to pursue

the promised nirvana

.......

and so I do

trudge uphill upstream

- nor for the lush of green 

in heaven

its only to find freedom

when I be one 

with You.

There're many paths

To You, however

Only one that's right and true

And if all seem similar 

With their arid and green

Tell me how

Do I distinguish between?

I've then left none

but to say

Let me off the blame

Of falter on way - 

sight of discernment 

That's due from You. 

Change

It's said

And I've read 

Of the Wise

That when 'I' is realised

It's time to change qibla

Turn direction

To the One

Without why

To give all that remains with 'my'

To let go, return

To where it'd been received from

And so I turn 

to face,

In my lifetime - the human race 

Children of Adam 

Is all that I have seen of You.

Butterfly flew

Caterpillar crawled

It turned within

When restlessness stirred 

A sea so vast 

That was withheld 

from rising to meet

The sky of its dream

A Knowing Hand then

Cracked its shell

Lo behold 

The ripples set forth

Lofty waves that

Rose beyond 

A silent potential

Was thus released

To transform and grow

When wings of freedom 

Flapped the soul

Who could stop 

What was meant to be?

When HE intervened

True beauty was born

From trappings of form

Brave and sure 

The butterfly took to its wings!

ON BIRTHDAY of my sister who has embarked on her own flight free of fear, so full of light.

Who am I?

Wrapped in blue 

of time tattered shawl

in still, silent solitude

I sit tall

taking stock 

of vestiges that’ve fallen

off me.

I see

daughter, sister, mother, lover

a woman

who stubbornly nurtures 

a wayward child within

a professional loving to serve
changing cloak, coat and hat 

whenever health bugles have called

for ailment to take a toll

or suffering to give a knock -

she’s been there 
in care 
to be.

And now that urn

has shown crack

letting each role leak
slip past

there comes to note

a self 
that quietly sits -

unblinkered, unfazed by light

it looks around to 
find and pick 
of pieces lying around

choosing to ask

who am I?

whats here thats mine
for me?

I seek

with perseverence 
wanting to keep 
whats ‘me’ in me

I grope 
feel raw at shorn edge

I wish to make myself 

one and whole

from all remains 

that're scattered here

so I stop to look 

look again to see;
each fragment 

of my broken form
for sure 

furthers off my extended reach

it recedes like a mirage
fades away

as though it were
merely an illusion.

Subtly softly

truth comes to fore 

to say, hey you

you do not grieve

destiny had to take control

to tear apart 

all shroud, cover and veil

it had to mortar
my colourful shell 

to bits 
that bore mark of me my and mine

too proud in shallow identity

the one who sits at core
was aching to be revealed.

It has been

long time 
to let it be known

an introduction

was waiting to happen

its wanted to be seen
as one that had endured
myself through
haps and mishaps -

this self was present with me
all through and so much more!

It beseeches
and asks of me

to know 
what's my true identity:

who I was

who I am 
and choose

who I want to be.

So I rest 
to listen

as this ‘I’ 

in whispres beguns
to speak

unscathed, unscarred by all

it longs for rhythm 
and dance of life as me

be joyous, revel in sunshine

simply moon at moon of night sky

living beyond 
each and every realm

being happy, laugh, smile and be 

present with every
sight, sound, smell, sense and taste

that's ushered in
as my life 
turns its page.

The roles I lived

lasted a while
for this observer
to go on being with me 
without any holding back

my ‘I’

was always here

not known
or recognised by me;
as it withstood 
the tests of time

to reach, attain its call 

when pre-programmed destiny
called its roll
it never turned back
on me.

It took so long  

for penny to drop

Divine simply had 
to intervene -

when I was enthralled, smug
full of self

on stage where spotlight fellthat was all I could see

so deafened by clap 

and loud applause

it needed more 
for me to pause 

for once to look

do reality check

for real 'me' in me;

the Master therefore

took control

to break me 

out from under cover

of meaningless mirth
loiter and laughter
that I played with 
laze and ease

I was humbled then

brought down to knee

steered to know 
a certain Truth -

all that's in me 
of any worth

or of any matter

is that I am
I continue to be
no matter what befell
I've remained one who
is meant to last

to bear witness thru’ 
a lifetime of work

honour and behold

His lasting presence
in drama that'll unfold

that is all 
that has endured

in love of peace
with joy to share

without condition, non partisan

it wants become Whole

and One with any and all 

by willlingly living itself 

fully out through me,

all that's here 
as truly mine
I recognise, it only

comes from Him

its His alone 
and when His Will's done

to dot of 'i', cross of 't'

'I' that I am 
shall cease to be 

to Him I'll return
having lived
eternity thru' Eternal
indeed that's

the real ‘me’ in me.

How much it takes 

not to give up, to persevere

when odds are 

turned against;

on darkest of life's alley way

when there's access nought

except over and above

a loosely stretched

slippery not so taut tight rope...

Its taken a life time to learn

as for every other soul

who is made to walk

the life's sojourn 

to receive eternal lesson 

that beyond all seen

there's but One
invisible resource and Presence

beyond comprehend
of finite senses

it's This that matters alone

Its has been waiting
to be known

draw each one to bear witness

and see its Light

by end of their time and day!

Wrapped in blue 

of my time tattered shawl

in silent, stillness and solitude

I sit tall

to take stock 

of vestiges that’ve fell off me -

a woman, daughter, sister, mother, lover

stubborn wayward child forever

professional who loves to serve 

changing cloaks, coat and hat

even when 
personal health bugles call

for ailments to take toll

so much that
urn did crack.

All that was me

is bygone now

I stop to look 

then look again

of what remains there to seewhich one of these holds real me?
i whistle and whisper to get its heed

until subtly softly it comes to fore

an ‘I’ was unaware of 
for so long before -

its waiting silently

unscathed, unscarred by all.

aching to dance to a lively tune

Revel in sunshine

look to moon at Moon

ready to laugh

smile with wink
flatter all sense

with sight, sound and smell 

that ushers in with every breath 

refusing to age
or dwell to suffer
with itchy sole
ready to scale
all height and depths
live the life to very full
prepared to battle

take stand for cause

that touches core, moves my heart
it aches to reach 
beyond earthly shackle
and attain more than call

of pre-programmed destiny.

So with whom should I identify? -

The social roles 
that were capped on me

to last a while - then fade with time

Or, this ‘I’

That's been laid back

Waiting to be known

By me alone.

As I pondered

a penny dropped –

So this was why

Divine intervened

to let me be known

through all that enthralled

on stage of life where spotlight fell
exposing mesmerising hues 

of my coloured pot'

lost in applause

that came across

when did I ever once 

pause to see or heed

the ‘I’ 
that remained under cover.

Destiny however 
when it took control

ruthlessly tore all 
illusory role -

all was mortared to its very bit

till it was revealed –

what lay at core alone

was Self that’d endured

battering of sense thru' time;

the silent observer

then got to see and ask

when glare did recede –

who am I?

who am I?

who will be I always be?

Perception bubbled

As ‘I’ at rest
left myself to be steered
with Divine's hand 

in prime control

I regained lost sight and track

brought humbly down to knee

Grace let it be known 

for certain

the Truth spoken, written 
by my very soul 

Yes yes I know I've to make amend
with who I am -

I am that

who is meant to last

beyond all realm
of finite time and space of earth

born with life to bear witness
of eternal, ever lasting truth

of magnificent Presence

that endures for love and peace;

that I am

is a gift to me

it comes from no other, but He

all that's truly true in me

is His and His alone -

this is the 'I' 

thats here to stay and reside 
and then return

when the Supreme will's done

to dot of 'i'

and cross of 't'.

What is liberation?

It's realisation? 

Realisation of what? 

Of Self  

How'll self realisation dawn

With action -

U'll have to do? 

Do what? 

Ask, query 'Who r u?' 

Unveil, remove illusion

Seek hidden core, inner truth

To reveal pearl

In oyster

Be still

Be silent

Be with solitude 

Let miracle then unfold

When light and love

Begin to seep thru shell

That's unpicked

What's revealed 

Is the Divine in You.

Let's be connected

Lets be one

In consciousness 

Of our being

Let's enjoin

To make together

Pristine peaceful White

Coz spectrum of VIBGYOR 

When emerges out 

Of the illusions in prism

It's inevitable

It'll merges to form

Radiance of White Light 

That illuminates to serve

With splendour and love

The  eternal truth:

From Him we've come 

To Him we'll return

Having served Divine intent 

That stitched, sow each Self

onto rich tapestry of life.

I heeded
calling of my heart
and heard
Your name was
being whispered
in still silence.

I sought
for healing of my soul
then felt cool salve
anointed on
with hope alight as flame
I knew transitory bite
was to lessen
human pain.

I looked
for partner among all folk
I found none willing to walk
all along - until in despair
I turned in
and sighted You
on Divine throne
I smiled with a wow
in this company -
who now
would say I am a lone?

A friend questions

at mid-stations of my life

who is a real husband?

I whisper aloud

he is a Man

who cares and cherishes

nourishes cheer

in life with you

without pheras or fire

any statements of I do

he joins joyous dance

to celebrate and desire

all that's alive in you.

Hold on

waves over waves rolled in
toppled me over
while i determinedly
clung to land
holding on to sand
with might
that was to hand...
until coarse grains of mini gravel parted
they edged
and gave me hold
without push or shove
it stood me up from fall -
it was now for me
to claw my way
on to anchor
on uneven shore
that life offered
as transit,
its a temporary ordain
a tranquil rest
from where
another journey
is surely about
to begun.

keep out the chill

I did well
last night to keep out the chill
i hugged
hot water bottle
close to heart
doing so -
I'd bedded
sleep in no time.