Call for endurance

Aamal is married to Cristina. Chapter of motherhood has seemingly drawn to a close. I am bone tired. I feel distanced from the sons I bore and raised. Dreams bring meaning to this experience. Last night it was Aamal's head bobbing up and down in far distance in the expanse of an ocean with dangerous reeds to one side of the coast and huge expanse of ominously calm waters to one side. My desperation, yelling out to Aamal to not go too far in his zest to experience life is all in my memory as I jot my pain and loss down here. Memory of Moses' mother surfaced then as I woke up - like a message perhaps. It's Divine will that I have surrendered to. Allah please take us through without separation and with success in getting closer to You.

Your silence

Your attempts to shut me mum

Setting up screen of distance between us

Is not lost on me Son....

Through my pain

Light filters in

In dreams I am shown

Divine remembrance 

Calls for endurance 

When life points out 

To none other but

Moses' Mum ☺️

New Year

The new year has begun on a cynical note being dropped by friends and family - so what if a new year has started, nothing has changed as a matter of fact. Here are a couple that triggered my muse.

https://ruminationsbyrashmi.blogspot.com/2022/12/blog-post.html

नया साल 

इस नये साल में सुर्ख़ाब का पर कौन सा है 

साल बदला है पर अहवाल नहीं बदला है 

वही बातें, वही क़िस्से, वही आशफ़तासरी 

न उमंगें न तरंगें 

तरो ताज़ा नहीं इस क़ौम का अहवाल मियाँ 

दिल पुराने हैं तो फिर कैसा नया साल मियाँ 

ज़िंदा क़ौमें 

नये सूरज में सेहत देखती हैं 

क्या ख़बर हम को कि ये रंगे सेहर कौन सा है 

इस नये साल में सुर्ख़ाब का पर कौन सा है 

साल बदला है पर अहवाल नहीं बदला है 😀😀😀

Poet is Dr Hilal Naqvi

My consciousness chooses to side with optimism though.

New year

New era 

New countdown -

Of resolves 

Promises - some broken 

Healed wound(s)

Renewed perspective 

Body that's worn 

Out and out 

Yet heart that's in yearn

Let me try again 

The best in me is yet to be born. 

फ़रमाइश

जब रूह मेरी जुदा हो

जिस्म बेजान हो पड़ा हो

मेरे बच्चों संभाल लेना 

मेरी बेजान काया 

बड़े सब्र से है निभाया

साथ इसने जीवनी की 

हर रहगुज़र पर।

तन को नहा के सुथरा 

सफ़ेदी से ढाँप देना

इस रंग को था अपनाया

मेरे मन ने व्यथा में

यूँ दामन में रंग कई सिमटे

उत्सुकता ने निहारा 

पर सुकून हुआ मुयसर

फ़क़त चाँदनी की 

श्वेत रिदा में। 

फिर उस जमीं को सौंपना 

जिस के अहसास में तरी हो

मज़बूत पेड़ के साये 

लिपटे रहें कब्र से 

फूलों के हुस्नो बू से

मेरी फ़िजा सजा देना 

यूँकि परवाजते परिंदों 

को बेसाख़्ता ख़बर हो 

कि रब की क़दरो रजा से

जो बस्ती है याँ सबीना 

हर दिल को ये यक़ीं हो

मुहब्बतों वफ़ा का पैकर रही

वो दम भर

सो सहां रब की अमां है

चहकें वो ये कह कि -

आओ थोड़ा थम लें 

दम लें और गुफ्तगू कर

बेलौस मुहब्बत से

दिलों जाम भर लें

18.7.17

I am

I am 

A point in time

In space I exist

As wave

Traversing the crest 

And trough

I dive and surface 

To find meaning.

ठान

साहिल पर पलटती लहरों के संग

पैरों तले 

रेत खिसक रही थी 

और मैं बस ठान खड़ी थी

स्थिर चाहे ना सही 

मेरी भूमि तो यही है.

This was jotted down on the shores of Arabian Sea on 3rd December 2012. Much water has crossed under the bridge.

Stages of Life

Soghra my sister posted on her Insta about 5 stages of life reflecting on weaning that happens at each of the life stages -https://www.instagram.com/p/Ci1-vjSvtLe3-dy7Xp5wgSoQmN2n-IHvY4v40M0/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= 

Her eldest daughter and apple of her eye has recently moved on in her life getting married at setting her own home in another city. It touched a cord within me and some random reflections bubbled up in my consciousness.

My Sis,

You spoke of 5 stages  in life -

They each characterise 

With pain of wean

A parting from old and known To experience anew;

Cords are cut For us to move on

From womb to cradle 

For pastures of passion

We saddle

Crossing fields of venture 

Set afresh family in new home 

And then let go of our own

Only to experience soul alone;

Its thereafter -

Our mortal form is put to rest,

Final wean is from breath

For soul to embark 

On a solitary sojourn ❤️

मैं कौन?

Vishwamohan - a dear friend keeps inspiring me with life and living. He is a rare gem of a person blessed with a balance of creative and logical mind adding value to the science and engineering as well as philosophy and Hindi literature (https://vishwamohanuwaach.blogspot.com). His message with a question tickled me into writing this morning. 

He said: हमारे ऑफिस के एक स्टाफ, चिश्ती जी, ने बताया कि सबीना रात्रि के एक प्रहर को भी कहते हैं। अब तुम बताओ कि रात्रि को कौन सी प्रहर हो तुम!

So I said: 

मैं - 

सुबह की शफ़क़ की लाली

फुटने से क़बल की अंधियाली

ब्रह्माकाल का अज़्म सजो

अग्रसर ज़िंदगी की लौ लिए.

May the All-knowing Almighty accept 🙏🏼

Feeling alive

Watched a video enunciating health and well being rules to achieve longevity. It made me reflect. Death is the only certain thing once life begins. When it will happen is uncertain. So the health and life style measures ought to focus on improving quality of our lives. And, then I thought what is one thing that consistently promoting our well being. It's our ability to love and laugh, irrespective of what the life circumstances are 😊

Listen you -

live True

live from the heart 

whether until 20s or to 100 plus

Sweetheart, 

savour the now 

being in the moment 

know how

sans any condition 

to laugh and love 

and celebrate your breath

your pulse

before taking final bow 

on way out. ❤️

स्वतंत्र भारत

Understanding India as an entity on its 75th Independence Anniversary 

पच्छ्तर (७५) साल हुए -

अंग्रेजों से आज़ादी के

भारतीयता किंतु क़दीम है 

आत्मीयता से परिपूर्ण 

निर्भीक, निर्भेद संस्कृति 

वासुदेव कुटुम्बकम की प्रतीक सदा 

रूह स्वच्छंद भारत की 

कल थी, आज भी और रहेगी कल 

पुश्तों के आवागमन से परे 

गणतंत्रता की गणना में शुमार से क़बल

स्वतंत्र भारत की आत्मा 

असीम और अज़ीम है ।

Ode to friendship

It's Friendship Day today. Rashmi penned a beautiful poem: https://ruminationsbyrashmi.blogspot.com/2022/08/roots.html

It made me reflect on what friendship's been for me. It set my soul free ❤️

Rooted we are - 

Thru father

Thru mother

Bygone ancestors

And their left over tradition.

Anchored we are

By progeny and our children

True essence of oursIs but truly set free

Only when in friends' company-

With laughter and joy

Jokes and reminiscence No care, Taken for granted acceptance

Easy banter

Some cribs, few moansSans judgement 

Sometimes quick wit

All together in rich mixTo spice life's canvasIt's with them We spread wings to fly

In friendshipWe revel as akin soul ❤️

Moving on

I am three short of 60, I tell my son. It's time to glean the gems of lessons the Uni of Life gave me. Most powerful has been moving on and not getting stuck in grievances, betrayals, loss of love, hurt expectations, breach of trust .... and continuing to flow through life embracing moments of joy, happy memories and being in the moment. 
This life,

With its twists and turn

From a station 

To another

Brings to interchanges

To pause

Look around and find

People have changed

That whom you once knew

As they were 

Shared in rejoiceBalmed in pain

Walked together in sojourn,

They no longer are the same.

You know then -

It's time 

To move on.

रूह का अन्नदाता

साल लगे कई

फिर जा समझी लाल लहू का 

शेष यौवन प्रहर ही हो जाता है।

साँझ ढ़ले तो केवल 

मीतों का गीत ही भाता है।

दर्द दिया लेकिन साझे को 

दोस्त के दिल को बढ़ा दिया -

विधि अद्भुत प्रेम पंच की

विधाता तू ही -

मेरी रूह का अन्नदाता है । 

तनहाई

My nephew was here to visit. His spontaneous comment over chit chat and snacks was - कितना सन्नाटा है यहाँ". I was surprised because all I had felt was profound peace and company of thoughts and nature. I was in bliss that others were oblivious to.
तनहाई ख़ामोश कहाँ - 

बड़ा बोलती है;

बरसों दबी हसरतों की ज़ुबाँरूह में रस घोलती है

ना तौलती. ना परखती

ना तू तड़ाक के तेवर

चले आते है कभी बरबसभूली बिसरी यादों के गहवर

उस पल जब स्वयं से स्वयं 'हम कौन हैं' - से प्रश्न लिए मानो, आत्मा 

अपने ही वजूद का पता पूछती है।

या फिर कभी अपनी लौ सजातनहाई मनस के पृष्ठ परझिलमिलाते ख़्वाबों के परवाज़ की दिशा ढूँढती है ...

हाँ सच.मेरी तनहाई बड़ा बोलती है।

माँग दरवेशी

 धार कोई और कहाँ यहाँ-

रब इकलौता स्रोत मात्र है,

और ये मन कोरा, केवल 

है दरवेशी का ख़ाली कूजा;

पाने को हर पल

ललक ललक प्रभु प्रसाद 

का प्रार्थी है।

लापता होने की ललक को
होंसला दो ऐ ज़िंदगी।

Woe to warmongers

The youth walk to war

That Kings and Kingsmen bid for -

They sold dream to be martyr 

To young soldier 

Every crusader 

Aches to have accolades

Of medals and awards 

More, much more 

Than being there as lover or Dad;

In their march 

Little do they know of pain of death 

Or ignominy in after-death

That brews out of senseless bloodshed,

And wreaths when they come to be laid 

Will be chosen for places of rest

Earmarked and epitaphed graves 

To honour not the departed braves

But ones whose bid 

For power 

Was seen as sign of leader -

He wilfully and wastefully 

expended the youth

That country and 

global community had.

Note to Aamal

 मेरा बेटा 

मेरा प्यारा

कैसे छोड़ दें

बाप और माँ

ये जानते बुझते 

दुनिया के बदमस्त हंगामे

दूषित करते परवाज़ों को 

थोड़ी भी चूक

खाने पीने

सफ़ायी. सच्चाई से जीने में 

हिला देगी 

नींव आने वाले कल

और कल के कल की -

क्यूँकि ये उम्र बड़ी छोटी 

और आयु आख़िरत की 

निरंतर अंतहीन सालो साल है ।

Winter safari

 

Winter safari -

On a warm day

My son walks me

With my waning steps 

For my birthday 

To keep company 

Of wind and wild.

From yokes of time

Seamlessly 

I am released 

Thus, youth resurges 

Constancy in Change

 

Greens in all its adorn

Tugs at heart 

Beseeching me to ask

For summer 

With all its heat to last,

Indulgently in its bask

It's turn of sun

To ask

Are you yet to learn?

Accept -

It's only change that 

Forever lasts!

रब तू किसका?

 होड़ लगी है -

ढूँढ रही जो भीड़ समक्ष

अपने अपने रब को

इक हलचल, इक कोलाहल में;

मैं बुद्धि विपरीत लिए

हार साध, बस लुप्त सी

ताड़ूँ सर्वश्रेष्ठ सजन को 

केवल विरक्त मौन क़ल्ब में।