Ties of blood

they say

ties of blood

remain unsevered bonds

over time

through highs and lows

in hours of need

when traversing up and down

its kind voice of kith and kin

that sustains

with unfailing respite

affirming again

and again

that alone we're not

meant to endure

in hardest of times

our relatives are there

to cheer

as blood is thicker

than water.

this for me

is a myth -

well proven in time and again

for my brood endured

gave precious company

only when times were hearty, of plenty

yet when i yearned

for a healing touch

or turned to them

for a listening ear,

in desperation

I found -

in times of distress

my kindred

were too busy

to care.

We'd shared

a root, bore names of same

one family tree,

but with the misfortune's strike

it was blood

that swiftly dried

the element of water

it flowed so freely

to cleanse to cure

it gushed as spring

from source untagged

chanced upon by heart

steadfastly

they stood near

enough to reach

to lean upon

unquestioning shoulders;

so affectionately

these nameless bonds

extended with ease

enabled to live

survive beyond the mundane

in human existence -

their Holy hand

had wiped off gently

all tarnish and tear.

-

Thank God

that water is thinner

than blood.

In life

In life

we ride high tide

and sometimes low

when on crest

its easy to be spotted

to be followed

by those who

clambour close to play

up to the challenge

of the survival game;

its at bottom of troughs

though that we find

only self

to hug close, hold tight

to stay barely afloat

and if at such times

blessed are we with a few

precious chums

that choose

to swim alongside

to hum

tunes of patience,

courage and cheer

to tug us along

with lifeline spelt hope

pulling to the shores

with selfless care,

they are the ones

that deserve

to be cherished

close to our heart.

mama ka nidhan

Badi hi sookhi

rookhi padi thi khaak

tumhari qabr pe

pardes ki mitti

jhulsaati dhoop mein

dekha so mama

aansuon ka chidkao

aaj main kiye

aayi hoon

kuch nami mein

jo kami pade to

khwabon mein aa

batla jana-

main phir aaoongi

rone ko.

Parvaaz

Hawaiee jahaz jab

ruka khada tha

khila mein -

zamin ambar ke darmiyan

utarne ke intezaar mein

tha thama, ke lambe safar ki

thakaan thi.

Dekha main ne tab

bhoori dharti aatoorta se

moonh uthaye

tak rahi thi ek tak

kshithij mein pat gagan ka

neela, ujjwal, pradeept aasman

us se aalingan badh

hone ki manokamna

bas anayas mere man ki

mook pukar bani

to us damm palat

prithvi ye boli:

haad maans aur hawa

par nirbhar Paarth Putra

hey Maanas

teri parvaaz abhi baaqui hai.

Bihar ki Beti

उस प्रदेश की गीली मिट्टी पे

नंगे पाँव चली, बचपन खेली 

कंकर, गोली, और गुड्डी बन 

स्वच्छंद फिरी कुछ यूँ कि 

नील गगन में निर्भय ही 

अन्य पतंगो संग पेंच लड़ाई थी;

जून की लू और जनवरी की बोरसी -

इन की तपिश ने सेंका यूँ कि

ज़िंदगी की झुलस कभी 

मन विचलित ना कर पायी थी।

वो सोंधी ख़ुशबू सावन की -

जिस से रिझ कर जनप्रीत में 

मन मतवाला होता था;

साँझ की पूर्वा बयार ने आँगन में 

गेंदा, चमेली, जूही, चम्पा,

रात की रानी, रजनीगंधा का 
प्यार पुरम पूर उँडेला था;

उसी आँगन पड़ी चारपाई पर से

टूटते तारे तकते तकते, 

तकिया पर सर रखे 

ख़्वाबों की चूनर बुन जाती थी, 

फिर ध्रुव से दिशा इंगित करवा

सुबह अपनी राहों का निशाँ 
ढूंढ पाती थी.

अहा! बड़ा खुश मस्त सा 
जाम पिया वहाँ 

प्रकृति के अलबेले घेरे में -

नीम, बरगद तले झूला झूले

जिन की मस्त उठानों ने

जीवन में उड़ानें भरने की 

अदा हमें सिखलायी थी।

बेरें खाईं, गुठली चूसी

चटखार सहित इमली खायी थी,

गंगा ने सींचा इस मिट्टी को 

ऐसे की धैर्य, संतोष के अंकुर फूटे

खायी रोटी नमक जो इस धाम -

खरी वाणी और सच को चुन कर

सबल मनोबल लिए अडिग कदम से 

कर्मयोग पे पर बने रहने की

निष्ठा जानी थी.

सो दूर सही - 

हूँ नतमस्तक ऋण से, विधाता 

गर्व का आभास भी है 

आज सात समुंदर पार सही 

पर बेटी हूँ बिहार की। 

Maa

Maa ruko abhi

nahi badi huwi main

man nirbal ab bhi

darta hai.

Maa thamo zara

kuch aur ghadi

meri peed haro

ke jwar taap jo ho

har asmanjas

har thokar par

hriday chitkar bas

maa maa

karta hai.

Nahin badi huwi main..

Don't dig
new roots
into this unaccustomed
Earth-
as skin shrivels
on me I fear
I'll lose touch with
grounds that I always
knew to be
my own.

4.4.10 on bus when returning from Venice to Florence.

- Sabina Fatima Hussain

Nirvana

i've reached

a state

where there is no want

to possess

yes i'm ready

to let go -

is this nirvana -

i ask myself

when my cup of life

is just full

filled to the brim

with no drop to spare

for over spill

no space is there

remaining to let

extreme emotions

in!

Thought bubble that floated up on the steps at St Marcos Sqaure in Venice with Aamal quietly playing by me on the afternoon of 3.4.10

My Gladiator

You said

can you be a Gladiator

I say Son sure be -

all of us are anyway warriors

in varying ways of world.

Some wage war

for want of wealth

some to possess power

or seek control so

they wreak havoc

with awesome plunder

on all to be fancied

time casts their mark

with bloodshed, parting, disaster,

a trail of legacy

is left behind

in seeping wounds so raw

they still continue to bleed

smoulder pages of our history.

Those battles cost

a fortune dear

for soil and toil of world

beauty, creativity were

destroyed after

so lovingly man's hand

generated whenev'r

it happened that there was

a brief pause for peace.

Looking back

at tales of past,

I'll wish and choose

to bless thee

with best as I can see

head, go forth

do fight, if you must,

but not for sake

of base desire,

your choice of war

ought deserve

brave mettle of the Freeman

I raised aloft

to let his eyes see

lofty causes to aspire

so surge, lunge and rise

to discover

countless ways

to truth, justice and liberty

for all with your might obtain

science and art as art of God

to be preserved.

Do cast your sword

yes cut with steely words

let man's mind yield

with flicks of pen

move of tongue

colossal blows of intellect

render carve out

reach for destiny

go Gladiator go achieve

live as man among men

who're committed by their vows

with raging passion in caring heart

smear hope and faith across

your life's canvas

to urge some more

inspire many

against what humanity

sadly still endures-

for poverty, pain and misery

are demonic scourges that

my Gladiator has

to strike.

Aamal asked to be a Gladiator, standing in arena of the Colosseum, Rome on 1st April 2010.

The guide said:

take Hope, Charity, Faith

to find

true wealth

of this world-

is Contentment.

Thought bubble raised by travel guide Michael in Florence on 3rd April, 2010.

I stopped

asking long ago-

'Why me?'.

instead when

come joy

or sorrow

I take

I smile

then say-

'What next?'

I pray

in solitude

seeking silence

in your strength

I take refuge

in pain

let me feel

You in human touch,

in hardship

give a will

to try again

Yes,

I ask for Heaven

here to see

'coz Blue Planet

is Divine-

if only life could be let

to be

no Eden

can ever better be.

leaving a mark

the very fact that
'you are'
you've left
your mark
on the face of time;
its deep

for some

for others mere dent ,

how does it matter;
now no longer
can even destiny erase
that you've happened
evolved and overcame
to be
a cherished page

of history

in memory

of those who love

You.

Inspired by words of Shampa Banerjee: http://shampa-frozenmoments.blogspot.com/2010/03/aspirations.html

aankhon se bahta

paani sasta hai

aaj menhgi hai

kuch pal ki bas

khushi.

waqt bahut hai

bhag daud ko-

par paane ki

khoj mein kahan

milta hai kabhi

sukoon?

dooriyan kat ti

to hain safar se-

ho paati kya tab hasil

sada hamen

hamari manzil?

shabd likhne

sunne ki kami kahan-

phir bhi ghulli milli

hai kyon man mein

ye ghor ekaki?

computer, cyber

sms, email, phone

kayi sadhan

anek manoranjan hain

pade magar-

mila nahi jag bhar mein

saccha preet aur

saathi.

Adharm ki neenv par ,

dharam ki imarate

bulund nahin hoti

sach ka pani

khara hi sahi

seenchta to hai

jadon ko-

tabhi sar utha kar

lahlaha patin hain

ped ki shaakh

uski ubharti

tahniyan!

nisha ka pat

choom kar

suraj ne apni

kirnon ko bikhera hai

amantrit kar raha hai go

phir se

jo saj chuka hai

karm bhoomi ka rann

aakash mein hai

prakat 'aaj'

aao ise ham

apne bhinn rang

se bhar den

kuch yoon

ke pradipt prakash

se bharpoor ho

navprabhat ka

ye savera hai.

Musings

Yes mind wanders

and alongwith

it takes my soul

seeking and questing

ardently I pause and peek

look into other lives

trying hard to understand

how peace

is achieved

in humdrum and chaos

of daily existence.

Coping from one day

to next, is weekly toll

ticking away months,

then years

on calendar's scroll

I find no time to be

a rishi or muni

to rest in mountains or green,

to spend life on ponder

'bout hows and whys

of mortal existence

randomly chanced

upon the earth

when womb bore forth

new life joined

diverse cosmos

doomed with discontent

wanting to know,

find real purpose in life

with wholesome goal

aspiring to live

with aim to fulfil

a human role

in one lifetime.

Racing through list

from day to day

plagued is mind

unresolved about

meaning of 'mine'

I pick signs hither

then for clues look thither

I ask myself

why is it worthwhile to live

for mere mirth, just a laugh,

ignoring eternal fact

that ruthless can be

twists, turns in life,

where precious fragility

defines being alive

where no one escapes

marks of pain, parting is there

tests with heartbreaks

for on cycle of life, there's no control

on matters that matter

in joy or pain, loss or gain,

or when happiness profound

bows off with curtsey

to let

sorrow seep in

with sway of an unwaverin'

reckless sweep of tide

the unseen hand of Divine

has beckoned - He

rolls and calls

from log of Destiny.

Truthseekers so many

are seeking for truth

or is it myth,

they search in vain?

will answers tally,

or be found at all?

at times to wonder

seems such waste of time

to want to know

what lies in store

when uncertainty appears

to be the natural law!

Ah unresolved,

remains my fractionated form

scattered as bits

of an unsolved jigsaw

I ache and crave

for utter Unity-

would meditation, detachment

grant this wish,

or

magic potion of being loved

act, be illusory reprieve,

will solace be found

with devotion to One

will I find 'me' ever

in harmonious unison?

Pahchaan

Paani

kabhi kahan
thamta hai -
anjali bharo to

jal rista hai
badal bane phuhar

nadi, nala, jharna ban

bahta rahta hai aab

dekho agar

tum saagar ko

usme bhi paoge dhaar

thame neer

tabhi jab

roke dharti

banaa ke jheel talaab

lekin wahan

mauje nahin hotin.

Priye,
isi liye to main bahta paani

hoon.

March

Steps today

led my way

to green, where

heartening it was

to see

new shoots

breaking

weather toughened ground

eager to bloom

were buds of yellow

and violet crocuses

harbingers of spring

unchecked, unfettered

were held not back

by the chill that bites

still stifles the air;

a statement was made thus

simply to say

mettle of new lot

will always have its way

to brush aside

sway away

any wintry gloom

there's promise of colours

that March of youth

can bring.

On way to Hervines with Kranti.

chamkila pal

ek chamkila pal
sarak pada kal
beete lamhon ke matiyale
paanon ke darmiyan se
jab puraani yadon
ki taaq main
sanwar rahi this;
jane kab se
phansa raha
woh wahan
intezaar mein
aur phir bin maange
bin chahe gulzar
kar gaya dhoondhlati galiyan
jin ka rang ab
kuch pheeka
pad chala tha!

Saarthi

Saarthi
meri nigah
dhoondhti hai
har gaam
tumhara hi chehra
umadti bheed mein
jahan
insaanon ka toofan
hichkole de raha hai
aur

mere man mein
abhang sannata
hai.

a promise

what shadows
are you talking about
mate these only form
with reason, it happens
when sun shines high
in clear sky to warm

and yield passion

ardence sweet fruit of desire

arise only in spring and summer

fair seasons of life

have long since left

now fall is here

to temper

with age our roots outstretch
hold on reach deep

to settle down in

toughened soil

a bare and bearing soul

that stands bereft
of memories

its been long

since these were shed

in heaps and piles

like time-yellowed leaves

they've dried

shrivelled for ever

never shall now green adorn us

the hours of dusk

and dawn are past

gone is the bygone

forever its etched deep

set in stone

as far as I can see

a tranquil night

is there to loom
blending in the horizon

so at this moment

of rest and ease, I'm keen

not to let

any light to filter in

I'll leave no space, no room

my dear

for shades, sound, shapes
from yesteryear
to haunt or disenchant

hence close to mind
hold fret nor fear

'coz sunshine has departed,

no lamp or candle

shall be lit

for thee, your love did not endure

in darkness

it'll meet its doom-

No shadows will be cast.

dosti bhali hai
ashiqui se -
prem vish
bahut vishaila
hai!

the increasing gap

small wonder
it is to note
that
rich and wealthy
surge ahead
gloating of
what's held
in account -
assets, pennies
and many pounds;
for privileged
the sums are there
to reap, and grow
yield yet more
and more
as money begets
money.

Left far behind
in health and bounty,
dismissed mercilessly
from
an unfairly played
social race
are the penniless;
they have nothing
but nought
to multiply with
and
this always will
leave a zero!

I
devoid
the
void
filling
it
with
word.

A Friend is one
who holds your heart
is there,
when you need them
for such a friend
do make concessions
as you would like, treat them
forgive easily their mistakes
accept apology , when sorry's said.
be kind, when they're
out about
living in a strange land.

Accept invitation to be togeth'r
answer greetings with a smile
don't ever treat with boredom
their company is to treasure
Discourage backbiting with,
about them,
prevent from being unfair
persist in giving
good advice,
and stand by when
they've come to hurt,
are subjected to injustice.

Guide them to get back
when they are lost
help redeem losses that may occur
fulfill their trust to very best
take their word to be of honour
sincerely do guard
their secrets
don't ever forsake them
if tide runs high
times become too troubled.

Accept their gifts
with warmth and love
never take them ever
for granted
thank for their help, support
be grateful for assistance
return favours with good
and kind word,
send on and off
a wish.

Extend a hand
when they're 'bout to fall
visit when they are ill
be there for them
at their funeral
to speak of them
as person of character
and good merit,
then affectionately
reach, hug in protection
their family as your own.


Wishing everyone the best of all relationships - FRIENDSHIP

Zindagi mein
sulag
tabhi tak -
tufanoon se
guzar basar kar
takleefon ki gard jhad
kuch pal sahi
jab jati hai saj
doston ke sang
hoton par
hansti khilkhilati
khushi.

Faith

It is possible
to rise
from the ashes
with a smile.

Na tumhare sukh mein hum
na hamare dukh mein tum
phir kaisi
ye yaari
rishtedari?

I remember

SJC I remember
your vast expanse of grounds-

that spread the world

out there for me

in many a vibrant colour

there I saw esteemed

Sister Mary

as chubby as her kindness

that was there defined

in every single crease

on that friendly face

dignity stood proud

upon a lone white hair

jutting from her chin.

SJC I remember
our nose fronted 'Blue Bus'
it ferried squash'd and squeeling

school kids, plus

my half dozen siblings

from Krishna Puri to

the Ghat Mahendroo

its wheels did steadily reel

screechily when bus

came to halt

were throngs and throngs

of hawkers-

they yelled to shell out

pachak and golgappa

peppered guava did entice

while mouth watering were

the lavishly served

spicy chats of aaloo.

The moustached 'Golden' man

doled out

ice-creams from his box

his indulgent smile

spoke in volumes of satisfaction

it flick'd and gleam'd

as lollies were licked off

we then galloped

on and on, hopped across

rows and rows of

stone bench

to hastily quench

the thirst we drank

from leaky cups

of hand.

SJC I remember
flights of hungry ravens-
in hoards they swooped

down upon mates

who flock'd in grounds

behind shut green gates

to run in merry play

it was then

those beasts descended

to prey at lunch hour

our food was grabbed

snatched taken away

devoured, consumed

in jolly galore;

all we did was turn

our eyes with a sorry sigh

to look up

at the open sky

with tears and dismay

SJC I remember

those ghostly ghostly tales
spun by boarders -

they cheekily played

silly games of planchett

then recounted with brags

of gal nightly visits

and spiritly encounters

to astound and scare

very life off us, who

turned away in gay abandon,

bidding them adieu-

every afternoon

we went to homes

leaving them in school.

SJC I remember
the games - budhiya kabbadi
kho kho, dots and crosses

roses and posies
march to beat of drums

chanting prayers

and hymns were sung
in classrooms and assembly;

sounds of songs rose high

to kiss, reverberate

thru' the beams that adorn'd

our old music hall

a lasting spell was cast upon us

when Bollywood classics

got screened-

then there were

plays, debate, elocution

fancy dress competition

were held to cheer, enchant

there was challenge and salute

with varied talent displays.

SJC I remember
eerie narrow stairs

right beside the auditorium door

that led high

to junior lab and library

it catered with

Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys,

Famous Five, Secret Seven
Naughty Girl of Enid Blyton
thrilled to bits, primed us

for adventures

in our lives.

In lessons were: 'Miss

please excuse me'

for not needed escapades to loo

then were times

when we conspired

to peek inside

the habit to gain

some very naughty views

then were times

of innocent wander

exploring the rear corridors

curiosity brought me

to chance and peep inside

nuns' living quarters

where silence often graced

aisles were quiet

inside the Chapel

where I could get

a taste of peace.

SJC my alma mater

I'll always remember

the decade well spent

learning what

life ought be from you:

physical and social sciences
man is a social animal
problem solving with maths
hand in hand go rights and duty

honour, courage and humility

to let devotion integrity

guide, be compass

when ways felt lost

we learnt here to

say with ease - 'I love you'

and lasting friends for life

I gained so many, SJC

I got much

too much from you.

Phir wohi rudali

Kal anayas hi ghoomte ghoomte
cyber ke bikhare pannon par
shabd todate jodate
bahla rahi thi main
apne vichlit man ko -
tab kan kan roondha gaya
mere bachpan ke
ek dost ka gham -
wahi ekaki
wahi rudan tha
wahi thi
paapi prem ki peedan.

Junjhlayi main
kuch kari rudali,
phir man se thi hook uthi -
kyon hum sab sakhi
ghoom rahe bematlab
chahat chahne ke
gol ghunwar mein?
kayi aur bhi to ho sakte the
aur hain bhi masale nit paraye
unhen apnate
aur jee jate hum tum
bin hichki ke.

Kahan khot hai?
kidhar kami thi -
jab rang chadhata tha Vidhata
jab bunte jate the har din
bachpan se dhaage yauwan ke?

Kaal ghalat tha
jab janame the -
ya mamta ka aanchal
seenchta tha vyarth hi
karampath pe aanewale
din ko?

Dosh tha kakscha, katha ka
ya guru dakshina par hi
koyi gaanth padi thi -
jo le gayi woh dayan
bahla ke ham se, tum se,
kisi aur sakhi se
sukh, chain hamara
bik gaya nirarthak
muffat hi sub kuch
loota, sacchi preet ki
laalas aas ne.

Refer poem 'advice' on http://billiboli.blogspot.com/2009/07/advice.html

Angeethi

Hai darkar mujhe
ek angeethi
jis ke koilon ki
dahak se senk loon
apna thithoorta
soona man.

today's lesson

All I smell, see
hear and feel to taste
is because the grey cell
works for me.
These work well
and serve right
only with intellect
that foresees -
desire and lust
deliver not
rather settle discontent,
not glee
So wisdom lies 
in awareness
in being conscious
and striving on
incessantly -
to set the spirit free.

Recipe to freedom: dharam, karam & yoga

Satyamev Jayate

Gandhi ji bole to sahi
shikshak ne bhi seekh dhari
maa ne batlaya tha padh padh -
Satyamev Jayate Jayate

Nahin samajh sake
nadaan bade the
waqt ko phir batlana tha
jab jhooton ki
andhi nagri mein
umar chadhi
ghata ghor ghiri
tab mere dagmag kadmon ne
arth sahaj hi jaana tha
pag hile nahin, hast bali huye
us dum hi-
jab man achran ek jut bole
Satyamev Jayate Jayate.

I loved staying awake
Clambouring out of bed
Each day -
To welcome sound 'n' sight
To ride the highs and low
That was brought in with light.

Things have changed
Ever so slowly silently -
Turning my days
Into long welcome nights
I love falling asleep
again and again.

Soulmate

I'd met once
not long before -
a mate
who was matched
in mind to mine.

We gazed together
at same horizon
in same frame of time -
spotted hues
smelled fragrance
sought and thought
in ways similar

when nights and days
were chatted away
sipping sizzling cups
of tea and lime.
Our paths had met
once and once alone
by chance, destiny
it was to move on
without any ponderance
on the sweetness of

our rhyme.

We parted road
changed direction
moving on was will of life

No questions there
remained to raise
no need to seek for reason
why it was meant
to look ahead
why couldn't norms

entertain us

why life couldn't be asked

for more of life

in this life?

Never for once

did we stop or listen

to heed melody of our souls,
small surprise then
I never realised-
person that'd been
left behind was

true partner
to my whole.

Not until the night

before did

a realisation dawn
transported I was
shipped ashore

across waters of sublime
Lo behold it seemed

no dream, I was there

in sweet company

it was my friend
with you
I was at home.

We walked
we talked
looked, laughed and
stopped along to listen
pouring forth
in our silence
were no less than

a thousand word
so much was said
not much undone
without utterance
of a kind.

Your glance was set
upon my face-
it warmed aglow

my gaze
without speaking
you raised a hand

to stop from fall

a single drop
holding on to lash.


Lips then moved
while hearts rejoiced -
sanity began to slip
my words flowed alongside

yours in a conversation

divine up along

till pause was reached

in time to seize in heart

the demand

of random flutter.

A surge was felt-

it paved the way
to give in to temptation
hands held abay
pushing away
from sway of stray emotion

when pupils locked
passions razed
to pinnacles of desire
I chose it then

to lay my head

to rest

it was against the heart

I sensed, homecoming

it was forever!

The moment lasted
a fleeting second,
next minute it was gone.
our breaths had risen

to fall in heave
leaving us to wonder
how the hell we'd survived

the blaze of life

with fortitude

and no ardour?

All we did was
to lay and savour
when peace and vigour
gushed in force

from deep tranquil hollows

our souls were filled

right to their brims
for one had met

the other.

I woke up next
in empty bed, turning over

to my side desperately in vain

I tried to hide
as rays of sun

did hit me;

painfully

it extinguished

the night, light

extended sight and vision

I c'd see with my stretch

of arms, a working day

had begun.

There was no time
to swoon or moon for

while sweet bliss it was

with you near

no heart breaks now, its okay

even tho' you're gone
for I've had

my chance, a special moment
it'll hold to

make my smile to linger
happily I'll mill about

my daily grind, strive around

till supper.

Rise and shine

I'll my love now, to hum

along the way
I'll search for memories
all day through in experience

that was meant to last

be eternal it was not

yet O how beautiful

it was for sure

when mind had

mated mind!

Kaash aissa hota

Kaash aisa hota....
ham khwabon ke mahal mein rahte
khushiyon ke bicchawan pe rakha
armanon ka takiya hota.

Sukh chain ki basti hoti
jahan raaj aman ka hota
samay ke arjun ban kar
itihaas naya yoon rachte
mehnat se sinchi dharti par
karmon ke nishan hi milte.

Aasha ki kiran se sik kar
aaghaz subah ka karte
suraj ki tapish mein tap kar
josh ke dariya bahte.

Shaam rangon bhari aa kar
jo saans shram se deti
betaab kadam tezi se
us ore hamen le badhte
pyaar ka pyala pee kar

khushq labon ko
rahat milti.

Phir taron ki mehfil jamti
nisha dulhan si sajti
aur neend liye aankhon mein
ham chaand ko taaka karte
koi taan pawan ched deti
ek khamosh sa lamha hota
us raat hamen sone ko
hamari chahat ka

basera hota
yun roz tumhari bahon mein
ik naya sawera hota.

Kash aisa hota...
ye 'kaash' haqiqat hota....

Written on 2nd January 1991. Found yesterday on 29.09.2009

Kash persists even further away from reality.

Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash,
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

A poem by Linda Ellis - Sent by Umang

Yachna

priyatam,

preet dhoondhti hain meri aankhen

tumhare chehre ki har lakeer mein

komal nayan sparsh

madhur lamas hoton ka

har dhadkan meri

bas maang rahi

tum se yehi -

kuch anmol palon

ka narm aalingan

ek nirmam sangam jo

is pyase man ki

thodi peed hare.

half an hour to midnight
my world is sleeping tight

i toss n turn

watch the rhythm

rise and fall of breathing belly
a silent mate -

I m committed to belong

with solid vows in matrimony.

He sleeps oblivious

as I alone

lie next to none

aware more than ever

of emptiness beyond
my lonesome heart

that struggles hard to resist
the last kindles of flickering fire
from being extinguished
as I face perpetual dilemna:

to be, or not to be -

in love without expectation?

Then ...

a car whizzes past

the street I live, the house

which is home to me, at last
has its silence broken

The screech of brakes
on quiet residential road

state to me with wilful intent -

cheer up now
reach for windows:

a starry sky is set aglow

it is without the moon tho'.

It may be
soulless without the moon
countless comets, stars and planets
but see so gracely 

They light
the night's courtyard, 

Yo!

No issues now
let moon to rest
I'll focus outward 

on many more
that shine beside
they breath and blaze
to share with me
their nights and days
with needs and thoughts

filled to brim, waiting to
listen and be listened to

seeking to share

life's foul and fair

I'll get on 

and spread wings to explore
turn and speak
to those who care
for a soliloquy.

when life breeds new life
the moment that dawns
celebrates the promise of
more pain some love
and experiences anew
that definitely will be -

Wish there could always be
the promise of fulfilment too.

Today I stumbled across
a collection of blogs
they reminded me of
love...
love as it is
sharp and tender
mostly scathing to soul
yet for
a fleeting rare moment
can seemingly be cool
enough to rest a lifetime
in its shadow.

I dream...

I dream of times
when drone of guns
will affect not the world
nor cries of children
tear apart lives of
many innocent
we'll still live for more
but with different goals
harmony shall be
the overriding
theme for all.

Jagran

kaun kab tak tika rahe
is ummeed par
ke sawera hoga jab
isi taraf se suryodaya hoga
bikher dega woh
apni kirnon ka prakash
apni damak mein lapet lega
mere hi ang prasang ko

is liye -
ab raste badal diye hain maine.

Despondency

I want to live
for alive I am not
yes breathe and eat I do
I see, smell, hear and feel too
yet alive for certain, I am not.

Those values that
I'd read about
values that were once applauded
in quarters of home, in schools,
were sung aloud
on the roads
of my happy childhood-
these seem to have left,
leaving bereft
the world that I now form a part of.
These no longer frame
the social array where
love and loyalty were once
some worthsome causes
to be cherished,
to be upheld
for all in the Humanity.
Selflessness then
was not a mere matter of word
it was the way,
the code to govern
a sate common life.

Now I've moved
so much further from then.
I look here and there in vain
for warmth, for emotions
for company
in a jungle of men
who though seem the same
as in the times gone by
are so different
for fellow men
care an iota not -
who pounces,
who is pounced upon
who survives,
and in what vein.
for as long as there is a feast close at hand
each man can unhesitatingly be
a beast, a hound
an unkind fella
to any or all around.
To question 'why' and 'what'
matters in the least
as standards of doubles
commonly abound
casting a curse
on several hapless lives,
lives that are marked
with craving for more
rather than content
to say for once
'no more'.

I too watch, perceive
and yet do not in the least
resist, or protest
I wilfully remain against
all that I once stood for
choosing to whither within
rather than stopping to exist
in my physical material form.
To eat, to breathe,
barely to be me
my primal instincts
to syrvive have won
they've won
in silencing the spiritual soul.
It is for this rason
that I believe
Alive I certainly am not.

बेटा आप कल हो हमारा

बेटा आप कल हो हमारा 

और हमारे अतीत की पहचान 

तुम्ही से,

मेरा मान सम्मान तुम्ही तो 

मेरा अति अभिमान भी तुम हो -

सो संभालना खुद को.

जीवन मार्ग नहीं आसाँ,  

जटिल है -

तुम चलना यूँ कि 

स्थिर क़दम हो और नज़र भी 

मिले भूत को शीतल छाओं 

तुम्ही से 

भविष्य बन बलिष्ठ खड़ा हो 

सक्षम, संयम सी नींव पर.... 

बेटा आप कल हो हमारा.

जो अब पूछो हक़ से -

क्या चली थी मैं भी 

इसी अदा से?

तो भरपूर हुंकार भरूंगी 

पुरखों, वेदों से सार निचुड़ कर 

धरा जीवन की लांघ चली थी 

फिर जब शरीर हो पड़ा 

था दुर्बल 

नैया गृहस्थ जीवन की 

खींच बढे हम 

नहीं सरल था 

पथ ये दुर्गम 

मेरे आतुर व्याकुल मन को 

तब भी 

भरपूर जीने की 

सीख मिली थी. 

अब जो धूमिल 

हो पड़ी है काया 

नहीं बची आशा आकांक्षा 

ह्रदय ज्वाला भी शेष नहीं अब 

नियति का क्या है ठिकाना 

कब भाग्य के पन्ने पलटाये 

कब बेजान हो खाकी जा मिले

मिटटी से; 

हाड मांस का ढांचा निर्बल

जाने किस दिन 

जाने किस पल 

हो शेष ... 

जाने कब 

जाने किस दम। 

तो सोचा आज 

बतिया लूँ तुम से 

कह दूँ ये मामता के मोह में 

बस फूल सजे हैं 

तुम्हारी ज़िन्दगी के रस्तो पे  

कुछ यूंकि

सब कांटे तो हम बुहार चुके हैं 

चुन चुन इतना दूर परे की 

कोई मचलती ब्यार कभी 

ना उड़ा ला पाए 

तले तुम्हारे 

किसी कांटे की 

चुभन कभी भी। 

यथार्थ की गर सुनोगे तुम तो 

बेटा बहुत ही परे कथा है,

तुम अभी से ये मानो बेटा -

ज़रूर हवा बहेगी 

यौवन में बदमस्त बयार की 

फिर बदलेंगे रंगीन मौसम 

झुलसती, चिंघाड़ती लू कभी 

और कभी पुरवाई 

सावन की खुनक लिए 

फिर पतझड़ की खलिश लगेगी 

कोमल स्पर्श फूलों के होंगे 

पर चुभन से बचना कहीं नहीं है,

हर राही को 

अन्यास निश्चित ही 

चुभीले काँटों की चुभन मिलेगी 

तब तुम धीरज साहस रखना 

हर जीवन पक्ष में बेटा 

पुरुष बन चलना 

पौरुष से चलना 

बंधू भ्राता से नाता रखना 

क्यूंकि मोड़ नए कई होंगे 

जो फिसल पड़े तो हाँथ बढ़ेंगे  

उठ बढ़ने की मदद मिलेगी 

नित नयी राहों पे जब भी मुड़ना 

ये हिम्मत रखना 

हर डगर चलेगी 

वही मिलेगी 

जिस ठौर हर रूह पलटेगी. 

विद्वान वही 

जो समझे गुर 

इस खुश्क कभी 

कभी हरियाले सफर 

को अविचल सर करने का 

बस राज़ यही है -

धरम कर्म का सार यही है 

समयकोष से मिले पल ले कर

दिल की धड़कन को 

बना कर दिशा सूचक 

तुम निरंतर 

बेडर चल पड़ना 

इसलिए कि 

जिस सिमत भी क़दम 

बढ़ चलेंगे बच्चा 

पाओगे कि पूर्णविराम 

नहीं दूर पड़ा है 

चलते जाओगे 

तब ही तो पाओगे 

मंज़िल निकट 

कुछ पग और पास 

खड़ी है। 

बेटा मेरा अंश 

और शेष भी तुम 

आतमसम्मान, मर्यादा की परिभाषा तुम 

चाहत का ईमान भी तुम 

सो संभालना खुद को... 

बेटा आप कल हो हमारा। 

frustration

However much I strive
to reach the shores
new waves knock me down
moving me away
further younder!

ZINDAGI KI EK SHAAM

zindagi ki shaam hai
aur kuch pal bitane
ateet ke sang
chal pade hai kadam
sane gard o ghubaar mein
har adchan se bekhabar
har hahakar ko kar darguzar
badh chale rahe
tumhare ghar talak.
lagan bas yoon hai
ke guzaar lain
kuch pal yahan thahar lain
kuch der
purani yadon ki thandi chaon mein.
kyonki shaam
to hai ab ho chooki
kuch hi der to aur hai roshni
kal ko jane kis pat ho dhoop khili?
aur jaane kab kis taraf kiska
ho raha suryaast ho?

Written while sitting in a traffic jam when going to meet a childhood friend after a long time. (July 2008)












+

ek damakti dupahar

kayi chehre tahal rahe hain
ird gird ki bheed mein
kuch uljhannon mein uljhe
kayi chalakte haas masti se
suraj ki kirnon mein tap kar
shayad-
har rang yahan ka
aaj haseen hai!

...scribbled on a sunny mid-morning in the Regent's Park, London

व्यथा

लिपटी तो तुम में

ये सोच समझ कर -

घना पेड़ है 

घना है साया 

इस वृष्ठ वृक्ष के तने तले

मेरे बिखरे वजूद को 

अमान मिलेगा 

इस ठौर थम ठहर सकूँ तो 

भूत से निकले 

वर्तमान को 

इक नव्य भविष्य का

संवार मिलेगा।

क्या पता भला था 

उस भूली लतड़ को

जो जा लिपटी 

लिए तपस वो मन की 

कि तना है खोखल

भूमि है बंजर 

वृक्ष स्वयं ही 

टेक का मुन्तज़र है। 

और अब जो 

मिल ही गये हैं हम तुम 

आलिंगणबद्ध हो 

स्थिर खड़े हैं 

इक दूजे की आड़ लिए 

एक सूखा पेड़ पड़ा है

दूजी पसरी लता है दुर्बल 

कौन सींचे किसे और क्यूंकर?

किसे झटक दे कौन 

तन मन से 

प्रतिदिन कुछ और सूखती 

पृथा पट पर 

कि सिर्फ़ स्वयं उद्धार हो।

प्रिये

सुनो ज़रा अब तुम ये -

क्या हासिल इस सब विचरण से?

मेरे अस्तित्व में 

अब शेष है क्या 

जो बेलुत्फ़ व्यथा, रुदन की बुनियाद बने?

काल कृति से जुट गये थे

हम तुम से और तुम मुझ से

दोष नहीं, है नियति नृत्य ये

कि हम मनमीत बने

लेकिन जुटे दिखते जो हम-तुम

सत्य सदा विपरीत है।

कहते सब 

है अटूट ये बंधन

मंज़िल सिर्फ़ अब एक है 

फल फूल हैं आज 

सज चुके हैं पट पे

सो एक रहेगी धरा हमारी 

और उड़ने को 

आसमान भी एक है।

For Phalali and Mumsoul

We are nought
but three souls
brought together
in time
intertwin'd
in heart n mind
we are by
a stroke of destiny

And now that
we hold our stance,-
lets rein in -
to search directions
quest answers for
who, what, why, how
when are we
wholesome wise
to figure how to
make earth abode
transitory tho,
a better place to be
for all those
that rest hither
awhile, now
and further beyond
you and me.

...a personal statement from your mom, mate and mentor

Amersham

I love to wake up
these days to hear

the chirp of birds around

and so I love

in nights to be lulled

to sleep
when many stars abound.

They gaze at me and
I look back

revelling at their glitter
aware I am

as never before
that me in life
them far away

are formed of elements

one and same

at core

we share the matter.

life's loss

when i lost you
it was with pain
i endured on

and lived
each breath was taken
by ordain
not zest or zeal
......................
i've barely survived.

Reflecting today
i see you as

a precious loss
that life incurred

on me

yet not in vain

it was, it left behind

with many marks

a tremendous capacity
to live and withstand
be it

sunshine or rain.

for rashmi

hatash na ho mitr

mere bachpan ke
bas kuch door

aur abhi hamen chalna hai
chalees ka aankra

to choo chuke hum tum
chakarvyuh bhi saare
shayad cheer chuke
baqui keval khena

kuch aur kishti ko

bas sahil tat hi

to ab lagna hai.

khud ke bhitar
khoj jaari hai
khud ki
man khali hai
kai arman

hain chup!

vartalap

18/04/2008 20:49:20 GMT Daylight Time

dhoop nikalti to kal bhi thi, Umang
shayad rang bhi the aur kayi
San Ramon mein
tumhare ghar aangan mein
magar kasak man ki
astitva ka adhoorapan
chura le gaya woh

pal kuch kal ke
bhav vibhor tumhe karne ka
haq tha un par utna hi

jitna mil raha hai
San Ramon ke is suraj ko.

gilon ke andhkar mein
nahin dhakelthi tumhe main

kadapi yeh dikhla kar, bas
khoye waqt ka ehsaas

dila kar, jeevan ki sulag

lagana hai;
to jeeyo kuch aur
jeeyo man bhar
sirf aaj nahin, par har din
har pal, bharpoor jeeyo kyunki

aaj abhi hai
bas abhi kuch palon mein

ise hi

hamara kal ban jana hai.


...Su Prabhat

18/04/2008 16:26:15 GMT Daylight Time

Subha Prabhat

(yahaan San Ramon ka savera...
Hindi mein likhne ko dil chah raha hai...)

Main hoon hin kushnaseeb...
Yeh San Ramon ka mausam
kitna sukhdai hai
na behad thanda,
na garmi mein lipta hua
ekdum sukoon se bhara

main hoon hin kushnaseeb...
bistar per baithe hue
mehsoos kar rahin hoon
hawwaaon ko
jo hridaya vibhor kar rahin hain;
sooraj ki kirno ko
jo gharon ki chaton ko nehla rahin hain;
dhoop ki khooshboo ko
jo mere antarang mein phael gayi hai;
pedon ki daaliyon ko
jo hawa ki uran mein jhool rahi hai;
panchiyon ke chechehahat ko
jo is mausam ko rangeen bana rahin hain;
in choote chote jantuon ko
jo hare bhare patton per bhoj-paan kar rahen hain;
Aur in sab mein
us Vidhata ko
Jiski shrishti ke raag mein
vibhor hoon aaj.

jitna bhi dhanyavad doon,
woh kam hi to hai.
haan main hoon hin kushnaseeb...

Umang

Abundance

I am not lacking in anything,
be it love or gratitude or worldly things.
I have everything I can ever need,
and that too in abundance;
where is the need for more?
Materials I do not want,
love is all inside me,
family and friendship I am blessed with,
blessing hands are always with me.
So where is the need for anything else?
I am truly blessed with abundance.

A content sigh from Umang, at last! She deserved every bit of it.

baghbaan

har roz seenchta hai
mera baghbaan mujhe
kadwe khare paani se
phir aas yeh hai
ke upje man kuch
vriksh ghane
phal phool lade
jahan mil paye
ek sthir dharti par
sheetal chaaon
us ped tale
tab jab
jeewan saanjh dhale

Dosti

Yoon to kayee rishton se
judi rahi main -
maa, pita, behan
bhai, pati, putra,
sakhi, sakha - sab hain.
Sochti hoon par, har rishta
kuch sokh kar hi to man ka aanchal
geela karta hai.
Haan dost mile kuch
aise bas us pal
jab langh rahe the bachpan hum
tikke rahe toofanon mein bhi
bin badle
badalte swayam ke sang.
Gaanth lagi thi tab
kuch aise antar ki
langhte the jab dahleezen hum -
rahe alag alag
par saath ka
ehsaas sada tha
jo niswarth, nischal, nirmalta se
lauta deta tha
badalte kaal ke dar se
khud ko mujh mein
mujh mein khud ko.
Issi liye-
Har rishte se pare hain hat ke
meet mere yeh bachpan ke.

[Appreciating every moment of my friendship with some of my school friends]

umang ne udna shuroo kiya...

Umang wrote to me:

kya tumhe pata hai?
main kitni khush hoon...

pareshaniyan to ab bhi hain.
zindagi ki utar charhav to ab bhi hain.
roz ki bhaag daur to ab bhi hain.
samay ki vyastata mein bhi koi kamin nahin.
rozmarra ki sab kuch to wahi hai.
to phir main pahle vaise hin khush kyon nahin thi,
jaise aaj hoon?

razki baat to yeh hai,
ki vaakai upar se to sab kuch wahi hote hue bhi,
phle jaisa kuch bhi nahin hai.

pehle andhera hi andhera tha,
aaj ujaala hi ujaala hai.
pehle khushiyan aa kar bhi tikiti hin nahin thin,
aaj khushiyon ke choorne ki gunjaish hin nahin hai.

aaj man swastha hai,
ang ang mein dharkan hai,
aankhon mein chamak hai,
khoon mein rang hi rang hai,
dimaag sirf acchi baton mein vyast hai,
yeh insaan sirf unko apne taraf khhenchta hai,
jo is man ki, dil ki pukar ko sunta hai.

in aankhon ko,
aaj sirf achhaii dikhti hai.
is man mein sirf acche karmon ki utsukta hai,
is dil mein sirf pyar hi pyar hai,
yeh jeevan sirf khushiyan detin hain,
yeh insaan sirf doosron ki bhalai sonchta hai,
yeh vyaktitva chaahta hai ki sabhi khush rahen.

jab parivaar ke log, dost,
jo bhi roz hamaare zindgi mein aaten hain,
sabhi saath den,
to aise kisi bhi pareshaani ki jo hamen sataayen, gunjaish hin kahan hai?

par sachmuch, wo aisi kya chhez hamne paa li,
ki chahe jo kuuch bhi zindagi mein aaye, jaaye,
jo hamen har tarah se khush hi khush rakhta hai?

hamne apne andar ke bhagwaan ko pehchaan liya hai.
pyar aur vishwash ki chaadar ko orh li hai.
apne karm karte huye bhagwaan per aur sabhi kuch choor diya hai.
vishwaash hai ki bhagwaan hamare saath hai.

main khush hoon,
aur isi aakaancha ke saath ji rahin hoon,
ki sabhi khush rahen.

aati jaati saason ke sang
guzar rahe hain din
pal pal ka ehsaas hai

yahi ke -

mai rikt hoon
tumhare bin.

pyar ki pyaasi thi
to zindagi se

pyar kar baithi
paana na tha naseeb mein

to phir

kyon man ko udhar kar baithi?

zindagi se mayoos

to ab bhi nahin main

jo mannat tumhari

chahat ki hai

baaqi hai aas ab talak

so tumhara main

intezaar hoon kar baithi.

I know

what will bring
this eternal thirst for life

to end in lasting quench,
but know not how
to untangle knots
that hold me back
from reaching out

to open sky
and touch stars

over and yonder.

Astitva

Main to bas

main hoon
apni mitti ke kan kan se

sichi, sani, rachi, bandhi -
usme hi ja miloon
isi aas mein to

zinda hoon.

Jo beet gayi woh baat gayi

Bhag abhaga kya jaane tha
niyati mein tha saath nahin

warna kyon gawanta

man niraarth ullas mein

woh waqt

jis mein milan ki

koyi aas na thi.

chetna

Priye
Sachet preet hi sacchi hai
Jahan bheet na ho khone ki
Khud ko
Aur tum se paane ka

lobh nahin.

What was I
but a grain of earth
till water

seeped in through,
wind suckled in
to gush the spirit forth
when turning

matter into me.
I felt then

thought, breathed
and thrived
merged myself into another

thus evolving more and more

I came from

nothing into being.

Today silence is pitched
against humdrums of life
beseeching calm
not a contained chaos;
a battle that

I never thought

could be won,
does not seem impossible

now with many hours

behind us

I control self by myself

unlike that

emotional wreck

who mocked in mirror

at most times

it feels so good

to live again

with renewed zeal

and vigour.

ekaki

ekaki hoon
kise pukaroon
aur kaise

ke mile woh
apna ban ke apnaye jo
hamesha ke liye.....

mujhe ab bhi
tumhari talaash hai.

moving forward

I take a step

at a time

leading self on

tight leash of chime

that tighten hold each day

and remind me

with so much glee

in content satisfaction

i note that

now only me belongs

to me, rest all is

sheer apparition!

Selfish dream

My dreams are simple
petty and meek.
I dream only

of home
of love, of mate

close to heart,
so much so

he needs no words
to heed

what my soul aspires.
I want to belong

be of that one
who desires nought

but me,
he dreams for me
of me is fulfilled

by giving fulfilment in life

to me.

Homeless

I was born-

in father's home

to husband's I was wed

I wait to be sheltered

by sons I’d borne

for finally that dawn

to make its way

when I'll find

I have my space

In grave

I will be brave

for it will be

my very own

to lie in peace

and rest alone

I'll be there till

eternity.

Life

As I walk through
unknown alleys
a thought takes seed
in mind;
it races and evolves

into a wish

and desire
to ardently pursue
against all odds

insurmountable,

I submit me

in appeal

then to a powerful Unseen Force

it gently guards

pulls me thru'
making life a dream

in waiting

to be fulfilled.