Love is my elixir, especially now when all seemed dark and ugly in my personal life. I am grateful. It has, though, taken my eyes off the world radar and calling of my soul - to alleviate suffering due to disease and death.
News of the escalating war in the Middle East hit hard last night when I caught up on world news after a long heart-to-heart with Pash. Remorse for selfishness and being lost in my own healing was there....but can an ailing medicine man bring any good to anyone?
I've been selfish
I am in anguish
for I forgot
I was lost
so rapt in the moment
that was wrapped around
you and me.
I forgot
there's a war raging
innocent lives were being taken
by death for no reason
except for their nation
warlords -
had decreed
it to be dead!
Childhood was being orphaned
youth being maimed
young bride being widowed
before the night's shadow fell
she didn't get a chance
to feel safe
in her lover's first embrace;
mother, daughter, young and old
even unborn in the womb
all were sent back home
where they'd come from
with sudden blasts of bomb -
indiscriminate
in the violence
was spelt their
power-ordained doom.
Darling -
amidst this havoc
what right did I have
in sweet company, I've languished
devouring beauty
when you sing
ever so lovely -
each and every song?
I sit beside me now
on solitary lonesome watch
I soak
newsfeed after newsfeed
is being served
past the midnight clock
to deliver knock
perhaps on conscience,
in sorrow
my grief is partnered
by the darkness of remorse.
How could
I while off time
in play of match with Cupid
so lost I was in his trance
for I knew none
to be more sublime
than tug of unconditional luv;
here though in this hour,
wakefulness has made its call-
I'm sorry
I'm afraid
it all feels
very very wrong;
and makes me ask
how could my breath
breathe fury
at wanderings
of your philandering heart,
whoever there
reigned supreme
while you'd given
her reins of your heart;
why ever should
mundane matter
when time's swift on move,
in my flow of gay abandon
so blinded I was,
I'd missed to see
our planet's tumultuous mood.
Now in this wake-minute
it's obvious
where I stand
is nigh closer to the end
than from where it'd all begun,
I question so -
how dare I
rise beyond the norm
and not heed the human cry
how dare I fall in love
when call of suffering
should've left me
gut strong and in heart light;
it was the need of hour
to stride right
for the right.
Sorry,
if I say and admit, I've been selfish
so in anguish
I'm penning down remorse -
well, they say all is fair
in true love and, in any
goddamned hateful war -
will this excuse then suffice
my indiscretion be forgiven
will it be judged fairly-fair
in match to
unfairness in this war?
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