Tarpan

Today is the day of offering (तर्पण) sacrifice to 'मुनासिबत'.

This was coming anyway .... a number of theoretical premises can be put forward and hypotheses conjectured to explain what and why. What's the point? Like I could say that the other's heart is stirred by someone else. Or, familiarity breeds contempt - and my not playing hide and seek games out of the regard I hold for feeling of Love and You and Your Divine plan is my undoing. All a series of unknown possibilities. However, what I've come to know for certain and from experience is that you don't want me to be fulfilled in heart. So be it. 

Yesterday DP lost his father's watch. He was hurt and I was in pain ... knowing full well what such sentimental losses mean to a sentimental soul. And then intuition alerted me that this is coming. The loss was perhaps taken as a sign from the departed soul and after a long gap in communications, when I reached out, I got this message  👇🏼

"मैं भूल जाऊँ तुम्हें 

अब यही मुनासिब है ,,,,"

Well who am I and how dare I question - "मुनासिबत"?

I always have and will always accept. 

Yet let's be clear on the terms of this parting deal between You and I. No matter how much pine and pain you parcel out to me with twists and turns in Your storyline, I will not humiliate the नारी within me and send her out with a begging bowl for love. So....

आज से 

फिर से आँख सूनी है 

सूनी है दिल की माँग

तुम कर अपना प्रण अर्पण

सब बिसर 

जा बैठो 

अपने रब के परिसर, 

भजन कीर्तन का करो 

उस ठौर सहर्ष अलाप;

मेरा घट तो सदा 

अलख निरंजन 

मौन, चुप को धार 

मैं भी सहज 

रागूँगी राग विराग 🙏🏼