Monday, July 29, 2013

heart vs mind

Mind beckons 
with thoughts 
and many crafted reasons,
it lures
towards baser identity
whereas the heart -
it calls upon
to rise 
with every single beat
if listened to,
it inspires to attain
Divine eternity.
As winter freeze
thawed this year
through mellow spring 
to give 
way to summer breeze -
I saw three choices present
for my yet un-lived 
years of life.

In answer to
oft asked question
Who am I
- a child of God
- God's reflection
- or, a servant of God?
without a flicker or doubt
not with any hesitation
I bowed in gratitude
to chose
to be a mere instrument
of Grace -
it unfolds life 
to flow with 
the Divine will.

From darkness
leaped at me
Demons of loneliness
Deception and a sadness profound
I then seized upon fear
using as lever
I valiantly peered
at bygone past
and found -
looking lovingly
at my soul's silent ground
You stood beyond, yet near
With light upheld
I could see God
alone His presence
unwaveringly stood
to show 
my faltering self -
the way.

Thank You
- for I've finally
put a full stop
with complete peace
to my fall
in ache and pine
to be in love
and loved too
as I leafed thru' 
Liz Gilbert's journey
to eat pray and love
it was impossible
not to notice
how remarkably wondrous
and gentle was Your way
to let the penny drop
and sink to let me know
the what, why, how
of happenings of my life
and now
that I know You
I know myself better too
its easy to accept -
all that matters
here and now
in ever-expanding Universe
is the only truth and case
there's only this that matters
- affair's just
between You and me.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

wounded soul
seeks no salve
but to rest its being
savour the whole
that seeps off
when awakened
From slumber!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

belief versus certainty

I've converted -
from one who believed
to one who is certain
for belief came with duress 
as I
had to look, hear, try
consider to make sense
then proclaim 
without depth of knowing:
'I believe', 
with certainty however
nature aligns 
self to the invisible force
it knows
without being told
I'm certain 
there's a purpose to being -
its to humbly respond
to Creator's call.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

थक गयी हूँ
पड़ाव ढूंढ़ते ढूंढ़ते
शायद सच है यही
 यहाँ सिर्फ़ सफ़र है
ठिकाना  कही नहीं।

Sunday, July 21, 2013

every moment
consciousness seeks to materialise
with yet more clarity
the way to be whole -
then fears and old beliefs
surface as trappings
of very own ego
to shackle dream
urge not to soar
beyond known realm
of my comfort zone
in name of safe security,
yet heart refuses
to follow and tow line
etched painstakingly
by long gone ancestors..
in plain despair
i peer
thru' glassy darkness
of the night of soul
to read signs
that were left behind
by those who'd dared
to trod
the road not taken -
choice becomes then ever
so clear
i know
rather than stay
in known zone
i've to step out
cross Lakshman's line -
me prefers to
take leap of faith
experience fall through uncertainty.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

This broken tree
its been turned to logs
that I sit upon
to rest, pause awhile
to soak refresh
in sight of green
it tells me
with awareness of pain
that's part of every broken form -
despair not
for within gloom that
dares to penetrate
thru' cracks of rot
in the fallen tree
still speaks of hope
that says to feel
each moment of incompleteness
that lies within
as a raw space
untouched, unfilled
waiting with tender reminder
to be cherished not condemned
its remains yours to say
whatever destiny
brings your way
core strength of purpose
is never to be taken away
by pine and pain of undeserving love
there's still lies within
broken self a further capacity
to serve, to give -
broken logs of my being
are still of worth and able
to offer tranquil and needed rest
I can still be respite
for a while
to another tired, worn out soul.

Its Ramazan

Its Ramazan -
you ask and it'll be given,
my mother whispers
in my lonesome ears
urging to bring some cheer
to my quiet
that seems as gloom
to her gentle, despairing heart.

I return
from reverie
I break to smile:
Mom - I've been given
even more before
when I knew not
what's mine to ask for
He turned the show
in Royal style
for me to perceive experience
of miracle -
I was given chance
this year to see
my very own wayward soul
as one with Whole
when I glimpsed and saw
my own self
reflected thru' another eye
and this blessing came
unasked my way
much before it was Ramazan.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

कितनी आसानी से
तुमने चमत्कृत किया
कर्ण का स्वरुप अनायास
मन में उतार
अल्हड चित से अपरिचित को
सहज कुछ यूं कहलवा दिया -
मैं कर्ण हूँ
पहचान सको तो पा लो
कि ये प्रसाद प्रतीत है
प्रभु के बल से
साँझ ढले आया है
इस से पहले कि
सूर्यप्रकाश विलीन हो
दिल संभालो -
ये पाप कहाँ
ये पावन प्यार
तुम्हारा है.

As quest 
for why, where, what and who
ends - I look for crumbs
and leftovers
on my plate
all that's here is mine
I know
all that's left now 
will stay
it'll be only for You

So once again
I turn a page
Without blindfolds this time 
I look through visible script
to read the scrawl 
of invisible hand
that holds for me
the decree 
of Divine.

Saturday, July 06, 2013

Cry of heart

So much 
You've given me
Above those around
I know
I accept
I thank
Yet appeal for more -
More of content
More patience
More vision
More courage
More endurance
More to give
More of kindness
More of reason
More and some more
Of truth
All along until 
end draws close
With eternal call
I retreat to rest
In slumber
That makes me
Worthy to be
One with Divinity.

Scribbled circa 1995; cravings and calls have stood the test of time - so it seems!
Apne paraye chehron ke samudra mein
Thapedon se simta
Ek ret ka tila
Apne tapte zarron ko liye
Khada hai
Suraj tale
Badi besabri se intezar hai
Us raat ka 
Jo saath layegi sannata, khamoshi
Aur khunak gehre sukoon ki.

Found it in a scrawl - scribbled on a telephone diary circa 1995
A warrior either 
Triumphs, or 
Falls to ground
Defeated yet proud
That he stood
Tall for his call
Not failing belief 
Of life
He warred 
for a cause
And waged  strife
For truth
That beckoned forth
His self
To scroll on pages 
that hold the likes -
Of Gandhi , Teresa, Martin Luther king
All persevered to shine the light 
And show -
Victory is in courage to fight
War won or lost 
It's immaterial
It's quite another thing!
It's a rival now -
it seeks to not know
Humaneness of emotion
Or purity of intent 
Or emptiness of lone
Or unseen innocence
That's dared to desire
Beyond limits of norm.

Hastily then 
Lines of judgement 
stand drawn
Its circumspect:
- how can love falter?
- how can it be on offer 
   without question or ego?
- how dare it overstep
  whats permissible, whats not?

As jury stands 
to judge my soul
I'm on trial
So I turn 
My head
Looking eye to eye
I raise my chin
And before it can ask
With hands up in air
I state the obvious
No - no permission was granted
It wasn't even sought
I submitted without ration 
or a thought
I surrendered to accept
what knocked on the door
Of my heart's core
What's worse men
Listen - 
I'm not guilty or sore
I've chosen the given
With right
Not amor.

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

panchali's pain

Panchali's pain
has lived thru eons of time -
it lives still
raw in recesses 
of my consciousness 
that's been let down,
I've been disgraced in love
and matrimony too
all in all,
I've lived Mahabharata
of my time friend
its time to head 
for heaven gates now!