Saturday, February 07, 2009

Despondency

I want to live
for alive I am not
yes breathe and eat I do
I see, smell, hear and feel too
yet alive for certain, I am not.

Those values that
I'd read about
values that were once applauded
in quarters of home, in schools,
were sung aloud
on the roads
of my happy childhood-
these seem to have left,
leaving bereft
the world that I now form a part of.
These no longer frame
the social array where
love and loyalty were once
some worthsome causes
to be cherished,
to be upheld
for all in the Humanity.
Selflessness then
was not a mere matter of word
it was the way,
the code to govern
a sate common life.

Now I've moved
so much further from then.
I look here and there in vain
for warmth, for emotions
for company
in a jungle of men
who though seem the same
as in the times gone by
are so different
for fellow men
care an iota not -
who pounces,
who is pounced upon
who survives,
and in what vein.
for as long as there is a feast close at hand
each man can unhesitatingly be
a beast, a hound
an unkind fella
to any or all around.
To question 'why' and 'what'
matters in the least
as standards of doubles
commonly abound
casting a curse
on several hapless lives,
lives that are marked
with craving for more
rather than content
to say for once
'no more'.

I too watch, perceive
and yet do not in the least
resist, or protest
I wilfully remain against
all that I once stood for
choosing to whither within
rather than stopping to exist
in my physical material form.
To eat, to breathe,
barely to be me
my primal instincts
to syrvive have won
they've won
in silencing the spiritual soul.
It is for this rason
that I believe
Alive I certainly am not.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Beta aap kal ho hamaara

Beta aap kal ho hamaara
aur hamaare ateet ka
mera maan samman, tumhi to
mera ati abhimaan ho tum to -
so sambhalna khud ko.

Chalna yoon ki
sthir kadam ho aur nazar bhi.
mile bhoot ko sheetal chaon
tumhi se
bhavishya balishtha khada ho
ek saksham, sanyam neenv par
Beta aap kal ho hamara.

Jo puccho haq se -
chali kya main bhi
isi ada se?
to bharpoor hoonkar bharoongi
purkhon, vedon, sanskar se ris ris
dhara jeevan ko laangh chali thi
aur jab shareer
ho pada tha durbal
naiya tab bhi to
kheench rahi thi
nahin sahaj jatil path durgam,
mere aatur vayakul man ko
tab bhi to
bharpoor jeene ki
seekh mili thi.

Aur ab dhoomil ho padi hai kaya
nahi bachi aasha, akansha
hriday jawala bhi shesh nahin hai.
niyati ki hoon bas
taak lagaye
jo jane kab
paltaye kismet, kab
bejan ho
mile vristha bhumi se
haad maas ka dhancha nirbal
kis din
jane kab ye kis dum…?

To socha
batiya loon tumse-
kah doon mamta ke
jaal mein phans kar
bas phool pade
rahon mein yunki
har kanta buhar chuki
main chun chun
itna door pare ki
koi machalti byaar bhi kabhi
na uda laye tale tumhare
kanton ki koyi
chubbhan kahin.

Yatharth ki magar suno
bahut pare katha hai,
tum abhi se ye jano Beta -
zaroor kabhi hawa bahegi
yauwan mein badmast bahaar ki,
badlenge phir sare mausam -
jhulasati, chinghaadti loo kabhi
aur kabhi purwayi
saawan ki khunak liye
phir patjhad ki khalish lagegi
komal sparsh phoolon ke
honge to, chubhan se bachna kahin nahi hai
har rahi ko
annayas nishchit hi,
chubheele kaanton ki sej milegi.

Tab tum dheeraj sahas rakhna
har jeevan yug mein Beta
bas purush ban chalna
paurush se marna
bandhu bhrata se nata rakhna
jo phisal pade to madad milegi
kyonki mod naye kayi honge
mudo jab bhi
ye himmat rakhna
har dagar chalegi
wahin milegi
jis thaur abhi main jati beta -
to dharam, karam ki gaanth pakad,
mile samaykosh se
pal le kar, tum nirantar
bedarr chal padna
isliye ke -
jis simt bhi jaoge baccha
purnviram nahin door pada hai,
chalte jaoge
to hi paoge
manzil nikat thode pag
aur paas khadi hai.

Beta, mera atmsamman ho tum
maryada ki paribhasha tum
chahat ka imaan bhi tum ho
so sambhalna khud ko
Beta aap kal ho hamara.

frustration

However much I strive
to reach the shores
new waves knock me down
moving me away
further younder!

ZINDAGI KI EK SHAAM

zindagi ki shaam hai
aur kuch pal bitane
ateet ke sang
chal pade hai kadam
sane gard o ghubaar mein
har adchan se bekhabar
har hahakar ko kar darguzar
badh chale rahe
tumhare ghar talak.
lagan bas yoon hai
ke guzaar lain
kuch pal yahan thahar lain
kuch der
purani yadon ki thandi chaon mein.
kyonki shaam
to hai ab ho chooki
kuch hi der to aur hai roshni
kal ko jane kis pat ho dhoop khili?
aur jaane kab kis taraf kiska
ho raha suryaast ho?

Written while sitting in a traffic jam when going to meet a childhood friend after a long time. (July 2008)












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