Thursday, October 31, 2013

Who am I?

Wrapped in blue 
of time tattered shawl
in still, silent solitude
I sit tall
taking stock 
of vestiges that’ve fallen
off me.

I see
daughter, sister, mother, lover
a woman
who stubbornly nurtures 
a wayward child within
a professional loving to serve
changing cloak, coat and hat 
whenever health bugles have called
for ailment to take a toll
or suffering to give a knock -
she’s been there 
in care 
to be.

And now that urn
has shown crack
letting each role leak
slip past
there comes to note
a self 
that quietly sits -
unblinkered, unfazed by light
it looks around to 
find and pick 
of pieces lying around
choosing to ask
who am I?
whats here thats mine
for me?

I seek
with perseverence 
wanting to keep 
whats ‘me’ in me
I grope 
feel raw at shorn edge
I wish to make myself 
one and whole
from all remains 
that're scattered here
so I stop to look 
look again to see;
each fragment 
of my broken form
for sure 
furthers off my extended reach
it recedes like a mirage
fades away
as though it were
merely an illusion.

Subtly softly
truth comes to fore 
to say, hey you
you do not grieve
destiny had to take control
to tear apart 
all shroud, cover and veil
it had to mortar
my colourful shell 
to bits 
that bore mark of me my and mine
too proud in shallow identity
the one who sits at core
was aching to be revealed.
It has been
long time 
to let it be known
an introduction
was waiting to happen
its wanted to be seen
as one that had endured
myself through
haps and mishaps -
this self was present with me
all through and so much more!
It beseeches
and asks of me
to know 
what's my true identity:
who I was
who I am 
and choose
who I want to be.

So I rest 
to listen
as this ‘I’ 
in whispres beguns
to speak
unscathed, unscarred by all
it longs for rhythm 
and dance of life as me
be joyous, revel in sunshine
simply moon at moon of night sky
living beyond 
each and every realm
being happy, laugh, smile and be 
present with every
sight, sound, smell, sense and taste
that's ushered in
as my life 
turns its page.
The roles I lived
lasted a while
for this observer
to go on being with me 
without any holding back
my ‘I’
was always here
not known
or recognised by me;
as it withstood 
the tests of time
to reach, attain its call 
when pre-programmed destiny
called its roll
it never turned back
on me.

It took so long  
for penny to drop
Divine simply had 
to intervene -
when I was enthralled, smug
full of self
on stage where spotlight fellthat was all I could see
so deafened by clap 
and loud applause
it needed more 
for me to pause 
for once to look
do reality check
for real 'me' in me;
the Master therefore
took control
to break me 
out from under cover
of meaningless mirth
loiter and laughter
that I played with 
laze and ease
I was humbled then
brought down to knee
steered to know 
a certain Truth -
all that's in me 
of any worth
or of any matter
is that I am
I continue to be
no matter what befell
I've remained one who
is meant to last
to bear witness thru’ 
a lifetime of work
honour and behold
His lasting presence
in drama that'll unfold
that is all 
that has endured
in love of peace
with joy to share
without condition, non partisan
it wants become Whole
and One with any and all 
by willlingly living itself 
fully out through me,
all that's here 
as truly mine
I recognise, it only
comes from Him
its His alone 
and when His Will's done
to dot of 'i', cross of 't'
'I' that I am 
shall cease to be 
to Him I'll return
having lived
eternity thru' Eternal
indeed that's
the real ‘me’ in me.

Friday, October 25, 2013

How much it takes 
not to give up, to persevere
when odds are 
turned against;
on darkest of life's alley way
when there's access nought
except over and above
a loosely stretched
slippery not so taut tight rope...
Its taken a life time to learn
as for every other soul
who is made to walk
the life's sojourn 
to receive eternal lesson 
that beyond all seen
there's but One
invisible resource and Presence
beyond comprehend
of finite senses
it's This that matters alone
Its has been waiting
to be known
draw each one to bear witness
and see its Light
by end of their time and day!

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Wrapped in blue 
of my time tattered shawl
in silent, stillness and solitude
I sit tall
to take stock 
of vestiges that’ve fell off me -
a woman, daughter, sister, mother, lover
stubborn wayward child forever
professional who loves to serve 
changing cloaks, coat and hat
even when 
personal health bugles call
for ailments to take toll
so much that
urn did crack.

All that was me
is bygone now
I stop to look 
then look again
of what remains there to seewhich one of these holds real me?
i whistle and whisper to get its heed
until subtly softly it comes to fore
an ‘I’ was unaware of 
for so long before -
its waiting silently
unscathed, unscarred by all.
aching to dance to a lively tune
Revel in sunshine
look to moon at Moon
ready to laugh
smile with wink
flatter all sense
with sight, sound and smell 
that ushers in with every breath 
refusing to age
or dwell to suffer
with itchy sole
ready to scale
all height and depths

live the life to very full
prepared to battle
take stand for cause
that touches core, moves my heart
it aches to reach 

beyond earthly shackle
and attain more than call
of pre-programmed destiny.

So with whom should I identify? -
The social roles 
that were capped on me
to last a while - then fade with time
Or, this ‘I’
That's been laid back
Waiting to be known
By me alone.
As I pondered
a penny dropped –
So this was why
Divine intervened
to let me be known
through all that enthralled
on stage of life where spotlight fell
exposing mesmerising hues 
of my coloured pot'
lost in applause
that came across
when did I ever once 
pause to see or heed
the ‘I’ 
that remained under cover.

Destiny however 
when it took control
ruthlessly tore all 
illusory role -
all was mortared to its very bit
till it was revealed –
what lay at core alone
was Self that’d endured
battering of sense thru' time;
the silent observer
then got to see and ask
when glare did recede –
who am I?
who am I?
who will be I always be?

Perception bubbled
As ‘I’ at rest
left myself to be steered
with Divine's hand 
in prime control
I regained lost sight and track
brought humbly down to knee
Grace let it be known 
for certain
the Truth spoken, written 
by my very soul 
Yes yes I know I've to make amend
with who I am -
I am that
who is meant to last
beyond all realm
of finite time and space of earth
born with life to bear witness
of eternal, ever lasting truth
of magnificent Presence
that endures for love and peace;
that I am
is a gift to me
it comes from no other, but He
all that's truly true in me
is His and His alone -
this is the 'I' 
thats here to stay and reside 
and then return
when the Supreme will's done
to dot of 'i'
and cross of 't'.

Friday, October 04, 2013

What is liberation?
It's realisation? 
Realisation of what? 
Of Self  
How'll self realisation dawn
With action -
U'll have to do? 
Do what? 
Ask, query 'Who r u?' 
Unveil, remove illusion
Seek hidden core, inner truth
To reveal pearl
In oyster
Be still
Be silent
Be with solitude 
Let miracle then unfold
When light and love
Begin to seep thru shell
That's unpicked
What's revealed 
Is the Divine in You.

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Let's be connected
Lets be one
In consciousness 
Of our being
Let's enjoin
To make together
Pristine peaceful White
Coz spectrum of VIBGYOR 
When emerges out 
Of the illusions in prism
It's inevitable
It'll merges to form
Radiance of White Light 
That illuminates to serve
With splendour and love
The  eternal truth:
From Him we've come 
To Him we'll return
Having served Divine intent 
That stitched, sow each Self
onto rich tapestry of life.