Who am I?

Wrapped in blue 

of time tattered shawl

in still, silent solitude

I sit tall

taking stock 

of vestiges that’ve fallen

off me.

I see

daughter, sister, mother, lover

a woman

who stubbornly nurtures 

a wayward child within

a professional loving to serve
changing cloak, coat and hat 

whenever health bugles have called

for ailment to take a toll

or suffering to give a knock -

she’s been there 
in care 
to be.

And now that urn

has shown crack

letting each role leak
slip past

there comes to note

a self 
that quietly sits -

unblinkered, unfazed by light

it looks around to 
find and pick 
of pieces lying around

choosing to ask

who am I?

whats here thats mine
for me?

I seek

with perseverence 
wanting to keep 
whats ‘me’ in me

I grope 
feel raw at shorn edge

I wish to make myself 

one and whole

from all remains 

that're scattered here

so I stop to look 

look again to see;
each fragment 

of my broken form
for sure 

furthers off my extended reach

it recedes like a mirage
fades away

as though it were
merely an illusion.

Subtly softly

truth comes to fore 

to say, hey you

you do not grieve

destiny had to take control

to tear apart 

all shroud, cover and veil

it had to mortar
my colourful shell 

to bits 
that bore mark of me my and mine

too proud in shallow identity

the one who sits at core
was aching to be revealed.

It has been

long time 
to let it be known

an introduction

was waiting to happen

its wanted to be seen
as one that had endured
myself through
haps and mishaps -

this self was present with me
all through and so much more!

It beseeches
and asks of me

to know 
what's my true identity:

who I was

who I am 
and choose

who I want to be.

So I rest 
to listen

as this ‘I’ 

in whispres beguns
to speak

unscathed, unscarred by all

it longs for rhythm 
and dance of life as me

be joyous, revel in sunshine

simply moon at moon of night sky

living beyond 
each and every realm

being happy, laugh, smile and be 

present with every
sight, sound, smell, sense and taste

that's ushered in
as my life 
turns its page.

The roles I lived

lasted a while
for this observer
to go on being with me 
without any holding back

my ‘I’

was always here

not known
or recognised by me;
as it withstood 
the tests of time

to reach, attain its call 

when pre-programmed destiny
called its roll
it never turned back
on me.

It took so long  

for penny to drop

Divine simply had 
to intervene -

when I was enthralled, smug
full of self

on stage where spotlight fellthat was all I could see

so deafened by clap 

and loud applause

it needed more 
for me to pause 

for once to look

do reality check

for real 'me' in me;

the Master therefore

took control

to break me 

out from under cover

of meaningless mirth
loiter and laughter
that I played with 
laze and ease

I was humbled then

brought down to knee

steered to know 
a certain Truth -

all that's in me 
of any worth

or of any matter

is that I am
I continue to be
no matter what befell
I've remained one who
is meant to last

to bear witness thru’ 
a lifetime of work

honour and behold

His lasting presence
in drama that'll unfold

that is all 
that has endured

in love of peace
with joy to share

without condition, non partisan

it wants become Whole

and One with any and all 

by willlingly living itself 

fully out through me,

all that's here 
as truly mine
I recognise, it only

comes from Him

its His alone 
and when His Will's done

to dot of 'i', cross of 't'

'I' that I am 
shall cease to be 

to Him I'll return
having lived
eternity thru' Eternal
indeed that's

the real ‘me’ in me.