kya likhun?

क्या लिखूं
और क्यूँ भला
कई पन्ने तो छपते हैं
निस दिन
हर्फ़ बिखरते रहते है
ख्यालों, उम्मीदों अव्हेल्नाओ की लहर बन
इंसानी फितरत को छेड़ते हुवे
बस ठेलते ही रहते हैं
भावनाओं को कभी
इस ठौर तो कभी उधर -
लिखूं तो तभी
जब जिसे पढ़
ठहराव के पड़ाव पर
पाँव टिकें!

i'm not a saint
for terms and conditions
of a holy soul
require to say
one's life belongs to all
and not yea
so i claim
am content
to be the happenstance
that revels to fulfil myself
as the life bowl
if empty within
leaves nothing to offer
or outpour.

रस्ते की हवा से
जब शमा-ए-लौ थरथराती है
अनजाने ही बेवक्त अंधेरों का
एहसास दिलाती है
धरती के आँगन में
लिए डगर साहिलों की
बादलों के सफीनों में नज़र
झिलमिलाती है
पिच्छली यादें और
आईंदा का सफ़र
दोनों बाकी हैं.



उलझन है -
उतर पडूं
या यूँही निरूद्देश बहूँ
जो  ठहरूं 
तो क्या गुम न हो रहेंगे
लफ्ज़ जो पतवार बने
इस ठौर ले आये 
खुद को खे लायी  हूँ इतना
अपनी नियति संग
अब जो दफ़न होवूँ
तो अताम्सम्मान
मेरा कफ़न बने.

और जो छोड़ चलूँ
मन के बहाव को
बिन लंगर
चाहत के गुप्त अंधेरों
सालों का मौन कहाँ टूटेगा
जो कहेगी सच
जुबान मेरी तुम से
तो तुम्हारा बेईमान अधर
अंतर का मान  टूटेगा


सो इन खामोश गहरायिओं 
और डूबते अंधेरों के दरमियाँ
मन मान मर्यादा की
गंदली पोटली में ही लुप्त
रहे तो हमारे संसार में
सन्नाटा है.

Primum non nocere

monk urged
for unconditional compassion
do good
for happiness - and
mind mocked
have you heard not
it scoffed
Christ was crucified!
heed history
indeed deliverance
lies with sole self.

Heart hearkened then
it hastened nigh
to alert -
trust human eye to stop
at sight that's
mere skin deep
in appearances that mislead
from point -  take note
crucifixion had hung high
for all to see
worth of service
and selfless toil -
the strife for good
had thereby made
Messiah of a Man!

बस धुंआ सी
रह गयी है ज़िन्दगी
धुंधली गंदली है नज़र
धूमिल है हर आवाज़
जो उम्मीद को
तकती पुकारती है
भरपूर जीने की आस मेरी
अब सचमुच समूची
थक चुकी है.

cold daybreak

Its grey
its loaded heavy
with waters
they will be shed
to dowse
the shame of autumn
bereft of leaves
the trees'll mourn
their loss
then await
silent turn of season
- spring will return.

है ज़िन्दगी का कारोबार
तो चलता ही रहेगा
चाहे हो न हो साझेदार
दिल धड़कता ही रहेगा
चाहत है दुनिया को कहूँ
अलविदा तभी
हसरत को ना हो
न क़र्ज़ कोई
ना फ़र्ज़ कहीं दरकार
फिर एक पुर अमन
सांस ले हों जाऊंगी त्यार -

चलना है जो उस पार
तो चलना ही पड़ेगा!

Eternity

memory of the masses
is fickle
on face of time
i trust not
to be in any thought
or ponder -
as life passes
i dwell in hope
to be remembered
by You
for in Your remembrance
I shall
surely be Eternal
as You.

life course

experiences pollinate
thoughts germinate
as seeds grow
ideas blossom
to action -
fruits of good
or bitter evil
have roots embedded
in times past -
much before.

Miracle

soul - it is a miracle
lines on face
streaks of grey
weary bags
adorn the eye
belly tyres grace
the body ages
while soul
steadfastly stands
test of time.

कुहासा गहरा है

फिर भी नज़रें 

टिमटिमाती रौशनी से

मंजिल का निशाँ

पूछ ही लेती हैं,

sunshine promise

i am prepared
to be frozen
once again
as I peeped
over window sill
saw wintry sky
painted grey
with clouds
in there
was held no moisture
nor enticing lustre.

and then
skies parted
for just that moment
sun peeked
touching roof slate
its sheen of gold
reached out
to say
no its not adieu
forever, bear with clouds
for this while
till spring clocks in -
sun will for sure smile
be with me
again.

आंसू की बूँद

बड़ी नमकीन होती है

मन के अतृप्त सागर

की प्रतीक जो ठहरी!

i.l.u. x ∞ = constant

an equation was agreed
signed and sealed in hearts
we were heedless then.

it required constancy
for an eternal infinity
we were reckless
no wonder to part
was deal of default.

in lives
we departed
breathed, dwelled in solo silos
now its time to return
be back to square one -
i turn cover
reach page
book keeping has kept
sincerely recorded
the equation is constant
resentment there's none.

उसकी सरगोशी में अब भी

मुसर्रत बाकी है, और बेईमानी भी

सो हर आहट पे धड़कन ज़रा 

धक्धाकती है, कि क्यूँ भला 

मेरी ख़ामोशी में बरजस्ता

तुम्हारी आवाज़ चली आती है -

यहाँ कहने सुनने को अब क्या रहा?

Autumn Play

My windscreen framed 

gay fall breeze

happily toss leaves

some green

some in shades of 

orange, yellow, red too

- in the oblivion

of playful seasonal banter

stood stoically firm

the trees

they'll soon be bereft!

While watching the play of season in clinic car park.

The old woman smiled
as I chose to reveal
a heart, it bled
of wounds
from the old.

will you soothe
i pleaded
relieve of pain
from thorn
that i'd plucked,
placed beside a lonely heart
believing for rose
its the soul mate
destined, doomed to last.

It did not, got shed
didn't stand by me
through time
yet I moan
turn with pain
at loss of thorn
that isn't there -
it didn't stay forever.

A feeling sigh
then elapsed
her eyes lit
with wise emotion
it swept away
the farcical notion
that what i'd lost
was heaven's creation
so it was meant
doomed to last.

No, she said
it happens not
true mates are sprouts,
produce of toil
with dual labour
of hand and heart
love flourishes
upon this earth
for here itself
knots get tied
bonds for lifetime
are sealed and signed-
marriage like friendship
is made together
it isn't made  in heaven.

दिल को लगी है

जो दिल की लगी 

ये कैसी है दिल्लगी खुदारा,

घायल जो अरमान हैं

चाहत से बढ़ के तो
खुदी को पाने को

बेकल हैं -
चाहें ये बरबस

तुमरी शरण में गुज़ारा.

it can't be love

is it just a ritual
to observe
convention to follow
desire to satisfy
or need
for which remedy
I do not know
- why do i seek You
with much fervour
and then return to
be rejected
yet once more?

निशा के आँगन में

चांदनी कुछ इस तरह छिटकती है

जैसे मेरे दामन में

तन्हाई बस्ती है

और सुना है 

ऐसे में ख़ामोशी 

कुछ यूं आहट करती है 

जब इक धड़कन कहती है

तो दूजी सुनती है ---

तो क्या सुना तुम ने?

Shepherd

The setting sun
serenely illumined
a lush countryside
where dotted across green
were several
white fleece of sheep
meticulously grazing
oblivious to else all
so carefully intent
on task at hand
living the moment
as if,
knew from within
they were secure
they were guarded,
looked after
by their Shepherd
who though unseen
vigilantly held His post.

En-route to London from Coventry, 26.9.2011

सन्डे की सुरमई शाम

सर्दी से शरमाई लिपटी

चाय के गरम प्यालों की

चुस्कियों में डूबी

- अच्छी लगती है.

Morning mist has begun
to appear
it comes mysteriously
at dawn,
stretching across the expanse
of my house and
your own
i see light -
its to hope
i cling on,
that first rays
of sun shall silently
break thru'
drive away all shadows
off my morn.

सन्नाटे ख़ामोश

तन्हाई से तुम्हारा 

पता पूछते हैं

सो हमने हंगामों में
गुज़र बसर करने की

बस ठान ली है!

कब शुरू हुवी
बात कब कहाँ
कैसे किस वजह
ख़तम हो - क्या ठिकाना है,
जो वक़्त
बंद मुठी में
हथेली से फिसलने को
मचल पड़े है
बस उन्ही का लमस
साँसों में समेट
भरपूर जिए जाना है -
क्यूंकि मौत से सही
ज़िन्दगी से नहीं है
मायूस आदमी!

लम्बाई गोलाई

चौड़ाई गहराई उन्चाई

कई आकारों से 

सजी दुनिया इस लिए 

के कई बिंदु मिल

एक से अनेक हो गए.

Though bubble surfaced while gazing out of train window near London Paddington.

दिल को लगी है
जो दिल की लगी है-
ये कैसी है
दिल्लगी खुदारा
घायल है
अरमान तो, सीने की

धड़कन को कब चाहिए

था तुम बिन
कोई दूजा  सहारा?

अब जाने दो बीते को
सोने दो चाहत को
जीने को काफी है
लफ़्ज़ों के साग़र से
बीतेगा हर लम्हा
होने दो, होने को

काफी है इन से 

अपना गुज़ारा.

The tree stood
proud on a high land
waved to wind
that played
with branches
they were laden with fruit -
drawn to the rich brown
feel of bark
to smell its aura
I leant against
for a while
I stopped to rest,
then eyes got hold
of old root
somewhat knuckled,
it was dry and gnarled
it'd surfaced to ground
a wee-bit, wanting
as if to glimpse, view glory
of all that it
endeavoured for
to enduringly labour
feed shoot
it'd chosen to burrow deep
get the best
and let it seep
through so the wood
with pride could
display, its bounty
and lushful green.
- I returned to call my Mom.

sizing up

sizing up -
it seems
is fashion of our day,
to size up mates
friends, acquaintance
to feel good
one up over
not bother
saying hello
to that 'no one'
or turn
sweet nose up
sniff those
that ask for
craning of poor head
for their pedestal
pristine shiny
appears good
to sucker up -
I prefer
not to keep, pretence
happily
opt for old fashioned!

childhood love

they'd grown up
together they'd
formed views
and took vows
at times
they fought
then made up
to talk of
every topic
under sun
till life suddenly
parted, each cleaved
grew a separate
way, with new vision
love paid
a bear price
to make strangers
of minds that
once were one.

तन्हाई के साए

बड़े गहरे होते हैं

- गुमा देते हैं खुद में

यूं कि वजुद विलीन हो बैठे

बेपनाह सन्नाटों में

लेकिन कभी कभी

ये अँधेरे ही दिखा देते 

हैं ज़िन्दगी का ऐसा सच 

रौशनी कि दमक भी

जिस का निशां

पा न सकी थी -

मेरा वोह सच तुम  थे

और मेरी तन्हाई मेरा आज

जो प्यारी है इस लिए

कि कम से कम यहाँ मैं

मैं हूँ तो सही!

farmers till

and toil on land

to raise grain

from a weather beaten
ground.

folks, work 

to buy bread
to bake 

of milled wheat
they consume.

the two connect

by a ruthless system

it survives by

gnawing, pinching
farmer of price fair,
and folks are robbed clean
of well-earned penny too
its only the system
it thrives, subsumes
riding high crest of
incessant inflation loom!

Rest in Peace

the driving seat

of man is heart

from his throne he endeavours
to navigate

through a maze

of unending demands

expectations levied

from family
foes and friends alike.

on the wheel for steer

is his will to be

at helm not be steered

he wallows amidst
umpteen shallow desires

to possess one
then turns to other

burning still with fire
for fame he consumes
and devours. 

death then quietly
walks aside, whispers
to restless soul
you've had your while
now rest in peace

for there no winners
but losers here!

kopal

कोपल की झलक

में देर है अभी

पतझड़ ऋतू ने आ घेरा है

थोडा देर ठहर

फिर बीतेगा पहर

बाद साँझ ढले

सवेरा है.

Spare the moon gleam

spare me the moon gleam

its begun to hurt

in dimness of my heart

what i need is

the sun to shine

show clear ways

without a cloud

to give me shade -

i want to walk straight

without a falter

reach halt at 

destined place

then I will hold

and kiss the moonbeam

there'll be time

without haste.

 

Spark

torch needs a spark

to sparkle

to gauge way eye's seek

the milestone

without north star

a traveller's lost

so i need you by side
to kindle.

my heart is filled with love-

it feels You
as the reed

that dry though
gets life from breath
that blows, fills with music
as its notes.

i live in hope
of your resilience

seek in life
Your presence
through words that sing
from soul for you
let your remembrance
be my heaven - 

While sun and moon
shine to celebrate Your glory

Let life be my song for thee.

mahabharat

मित्र,
बिछी तो है आज भी
बिसात महाभारत की-
हमारे युग के रंगमंच पर भी
किरदार नव नवीन कई
झलक दिखलाते पात्र कहीं
कोई युद्धिष्टिर बना परिहास उडवाता
अपने धरमराज कहलाने की
कि माया लिप्सा में लुप्त
अपनी द्रौपदी के मान संहार की
घोर पीड़ा से वियुक्त
विमुख रहे.


हैं यही कहीं
दुर्योधन
नकुल, सहदेव, वीर अर्जुन
बलिहार भीम भी प्रतिम्बिबित नज़र आ जाते
कभी काल के किसी पृष्ठ पट पर -
सभी निभाते जा रहे भूमिका
यूँ जिस तरह
हुवे नियुक्त
अपनी नियति के कर से,
मगर -
मेरी नज़रें नहीं ताड़ पा रही
उस अकेले को जो
सम्पूर्ण महाभारत की रूह है.

परमवीर करमवीर

कर्मयोधा मेरा कर्ण -

इस युध्ह के कोलाहल में
तुम्हारी सचेत आत्मा
मानवीय मूल, वचनबद्धता,
मैत्रिये, मर्यादा के फूल
किस ठौर ढके
कहाँ गुम है?

It was deathly despair
that clouded tick tock
of my clock, when
the day was made
in part studying faces
fourteen of them in all -
I watched guys and girls
their heads carried
several shades of grey
and time wizened faces
were etched with memories
of varied roles they had
in bitter sweet drama of life
each had a separate tale
to tell, each had faced
a very different gale
yet unbeaten
they danced together
swung arm
to gentle rhythm -
as trees beckon
easterly breeze to stay
they too chose to summon
with desire some more
a little more time
for play. 

natural variation determines
in which lap
what share of
bounty or burden shall fall
this is a destined toll
of that no soul
is ever in charge,
but human mind is blessed
in that it minds not -
endeavours still regardless
relentlessly to love and fulfil
their lives' call.

Thoughts that surfaced after reading Oliver Sacks - 'The Man who mistook his wife for a Hat'

living

longing dissipates
when I connect
reach out to whose
lives' been touched
by life's magic wand-
from here I see
withstand accept that
while touch of pain
is law universal
love for all invariably
endures, it is
a lasting therapy.

words of rhyme
salve soothe
sometimes heal the hurt
i seek your
company with
a desolate heart
so hold my hand
be my friend
till death do us part.

Petals bloom
just before the fall
in splendour splash out colour
for butterfly to spread wing
in flutter and, for bee
to hum its song -
beautiful moment
is then blown
by winds for time
to gather seeds has come
to sow the earth
with flower's core
that was flung far beyond
so wait a while
let shiver pass
let bygones be bygone -
Hey Spring is near
just round the corner -
sweet blossom shall
soon recover!

Reverie

He said he is happy
'coz many a car
stand by his door
bearing brands to flash
and for sake of norm
his life is shared
with ones who love
as he earns for all
to give gold to all.

It was here
that the penny dropped.

Sure he isn't poor
for any want or warmth
it matters in least
his time on land
wasn't spent
walking hand in hand
with me
what went amiss
if no hues of sunrise saw
nor could linger rays
of setting sun
to witness see me kneel
beside knee
or rest the head
on lover's arm,
what cost
indeed in big scheme
of things
that togetherness was
so worthlessly lost?

Hearken O' heart
the call for prayer
for clear dawn has just begun
to reveal a truth
that lurked in shadow -
at long last a reverie
comes to end.

dil ki syahi

तो तुमने फिर से लिखना शुरू कर दिया

क्या कुछ और स्याही बची है अब भी

दिल की खाली दरारों के बीच

जिसे सोख

कर अब भी

मन में जीने का हौंसला बाकी हैं?

हाँ कहा मन ने

एक बार फिर अन्तराल में

कविता जाग उठी जो दीप बनी

करती रहती झिलमिल -
दिल की गलियां हैं रोशन

तो इसी प्रकाश से 

वरना इन् हथेंलियों ने 

केवल अंधकार बिटोरा है.

ten years 

you happily say

you are prepared to wait

to hear again

from one you claim

you loved, you love

and will always do so

I say

with conviction this time

no you don't -

yes you love to hurt

and humiliate

for the sake of feeling good

then say to placate

I love you -

you cheat the self!

my sky's overcast
air still, losses are high
gains nil -
I ache in my heart
the pains kill
still i tread
seeking against
odds and will
i ask
to be returned
to Your
everlasting favour
of faith.

journey home

a world that started

and stopped with you

although you were

just apparition

that deserted, left

at glimpse of glitter

to find rays of gold

where lay shimmer

of your horizon -

i stumbled, i fell

withdrew my hand

that none were there

to reach or hold

I looked beyond

and saw Him beckon

to candle of His hope

I've groped my way

to reach my goal -

His shelter

is now my haven.

Busy Bee

busy bee buzzes
draws nectar of life
off bloomin' flower!

I knew

I knew

you knew

I'd called

across silence of night

divide of ocean

when rose rampant emotion

i reached out

to salve

kept my heart on mute

to be heard by heart

in you

I knew

you knew

I'd called.

words

words,

i know none

with touch

as gentle, healing as thine -

all hurt

my ache

vaccuum resolve

when i dissolve

diffuse distress

i dip and drown

in a potion

of wordy wine.

Life showcased

Life showcased

on display

nah no frowns

no ohs or ahs allowed

there's no space

to groan,

for all is jovial

with shallow mirth

lively illusion surround

the virtual;

OMG Facebook's holding

realities to ground

LOL :)

darya aur samundar

एक दरिया
एक समुन्दर -
दोनों पानी का अठखेल,
मिठास लिए
अपने आँचल में
दरिया बढे
सागर की ओर
उस के प्रेम से अपरिचित सागर
ऊँचाइयों का गुमान लिए
अपनी खारी लहरों संग
बस धरती तट छु ही

टूट बिखरता है.

Sach

सच
तो बहुत हैं -
कुछ खोटे, कुछ खरे
कुछ दिल दुखते
कुछ दे देते सुकुन
पर हर सच से
परे ऊपर
है परमात्मा
यह सच कि तुम हो
यहीं बसे
हर दिल कि गलीयों
में दौड़ रहा है
वोह वजुद जो
अकेला है.

Shop Window

shop window displays

many faces

in variety of colours

and lines

to tow the heart

of onlookers

and deep in cell

and soul

is buried deep

the one who knows

true worth

of goods to be sold:

I am the keeper

of my shop.

eyes grazed

expanse of o'ergrown green

showing a splatter

of weak yellowy flowers

when I spotted

the bee;

from one to another

it flitted in vain

searching for nectar

that wasn't

on offer here:

its time to weed

I thought.

time, my friend

your face, I've found

more fickle

than sea-sand

that holds close

imprints of steps

that tread across

for a while at least

till a new tide

washes ashore.

dare to walk

its only

when steps trod

that walks get etched,

carved across

in wilderness

of woods.

its alright

its alright
to flutter
like butterfly
to attempt

to fly

yet reach not

the sky

one wants

to see.

its alright

its alright
to flutter
like butterfly
to attempt

to fly

yet reach not

the sky

one wants

to see.

What point is there
to mourn  
love's labour lost 
or grieve in vain 
for eighteen in all 
change of season
gone, lost in quest 
of honest half
who lives to lead
path of love 
selfless virtue!

If 'viddhi' is applied not

in due time

'vyadhi' is

one inevitable fate.

Reflective thought on Baba Ramdev's talk on Yog.

Nature's law

Apple falls

when ripe

to ground that nurtured

it sweet -

so do I

when life's mass

is hard to hold

or bear for more

I gravitate

in humility

to Yea.

shackles of civic life

I am tired

pretty much so

of changing careers, diapers

packers and movers

flitting across

from office to home

I flutter

thru commutes and jams

I flicker

from smile to woes

memories sweet n bitter

then suffer whims and viles

to survive

expectations of life

I suffer

I struggle with folders and files -

Hell I'm tired

of Me and Mys.

Wrinkles

Fine lines

have formed

to etch crevices across

face of time

that savours memories

sweet and savoury

of lifetime

that was lived

stamped as mine!

Old Jotting on 21.3.91

Kayi chehre hain

maanvi jo jungle

mein jeete

zaroor zinda kehlaate

armaanon mein dhale

saje sanwre magar

ret se bhurbhure

ghar basate pyar se khokhle

niradhaar jo tike hain

aisi zameen par

jahan aksar -

waqt ke

bhayanak tufaan uthte hain.

Self aware

Clay in me

draws forth self

for fleshly desires

I lust, seek more

than need be.

Spirit from You

lightens the load

buoyant it rises

in me -

from depths and dark

I alight to see

in comprehension

wings spread,

to take of in flight

solely and only

to Thee.

Uni of Life

Got entry
some decades ago
in top of the league

yet unlisted Uni -
to be taught to see
listen not hear
use words as gear
to drive with ease

when going was sleek

or when bumpy

became the ride -

then most importantly

it urged me on
to let a feeling heart be

my unfailing guide.

While seated in foyer of Paddington station, waiting for Samar to accompany to his open uni day