...so I've heard
You say
by the case of every passing day
i've to stand for right and
will for patience
to get out of harm's way,
so whatever my plight
coz here
i certainly have no right
i'll take charge
of my aching heart
submit surrender in longing to you
but much
that i trust thee
i can't help pause
take stock and cry -
Why
did You leave me alone
in experience of love again?

in this world
like all things finite
love
has a life span too
- i accept with grace
what wisdom You endow
in heart
but being human
i will turn
seek and ask:
as from You we've come
to wait patiently for
eternal return
so i'll uphold my patience
and hold You to Your promise
that when i return
let my reward be he.

कहने सुनने को
अब हम तुम ही है
बस तो
इस से पहले कि बात बढे
शिकायतों का सिलसिला चले
एक दरख्वास्त बता दूं ?

दुआ समझ कर पूरी कर दो ....

एक कुटिया किनारों पे तामीर करा दो
साहिल से सागर को तका करुँगी
ना मेरा आँचल भीगेगा
ना तुम्हारी ओर
कोई अंगुली उठेगी।

After writing this Your hands led me to the FB page and guess what I read written there :)

Rent a house for me in Your neighborhood

I can't stay away from you.

~Rumi♥

कहा तुम ने
तो मैं ने सुन लिया
लो आ गयी
पलट मोती बिखरा गयी -
शायद विरक्ति से घबरा गयी थी
अपने अंधेरों में थोड़ी देर
इक लौ की चमक से
थरथरा गयी थी

तुम ने थामा
हाँ सही किया
पर इस मार्ग पे क्या
विद्विषा का प्याला क्या
तुम ने था नहीं धरा?

You say i've erred
for i dared
and danced
with desires
that rage in a sinning soul
well isn't it fair
then for me to say
recall my Lord
by whose command
it ignited and sparked
then to forbid
and ask to tame
with heart and hands already charred
answer my prayer
from where do i find
the strength
to douse it all?

ok resume
i'm here to heed
with all ear
proviso -
you hear
me out too.

You'd removed
my fear
when through a deluge of tear
I heard You say
I won't get more
than I can ever bear
so its about time
to let me know
when can i expect
this pine
to begin to slow?

yes You're so right
no dreams should rest
on castles that aren't mine.

so i will pull out
straight and rest in sanity
sanctity thats Thine.

but remember
it has to be together
for - 'sah viriam karva vahe'
was my call
do hold me tight
or else i'll sway
falter and fall.



reminder note:

yes i'm listening...

You say it isn't right
to call love as Your light
if it leaves one with deliberation
in shadows of pain
knowing full well
it'll cost them
their life
yes it isn't right
to call it love when it stands
beside only when there's shine
then choose to slip away
without a pretense or
apology to have
other gain
another stab at life.

i agree...
but listen
there's one line that i need to add
in fairness
love was there with me in melancholy
to mop pick up the litter that they'd
left...only this time
Your light was reflected
it was diffused
in form of friends that
stood by.

i love You
for at last making me wise.

Lo I've left
company of friends too
coz You said
You wanted me alone
to whisper
Truth in my ear
so go on
begin -
I'll listen...

कैसे जियूं?

बहुत मुश्किल है
सुबह काम पे जाना
यूँ हँसना मुस्कुराना
जैसे कोई बात नहीं।

बहुत मुश्किल है
अकेले ही रोना खिलखिलाना
ख्यालों में यूँ डूब जाना
जैसे हो तुम्हारा साथ यहीं।

बहुत मुश्किल है
गाडी चलाना, बदमस्त नग़मोँ में
खुद को बहलाना यूँकि
मंजिल की याद नहीं।

बहुत मुश्किल है
हर शाम घर आना
बत्तियों से मूंह छुपाना
जैसे मिले  तनहाइयों  पे
तुम्हारा भी नाम कहीं ।

प्यासी हूँ

प्यासी हूँ
सो लफ़्ज़ों के बुलबुले लपेट
पंक्तियाँ बटोरती हूँ
हर्फ़ पिरोती हूँ
आधेअधूरों को तोड़ती मरोड़ती हूँ
फिर  अपने तुम्हारे ख्वाबों
का सिलसिला बुन
सिरहाने समेटती हूँ -
शाम इसी तकिये पे
सोना है।

missing you

no sooner
that i rise

to pick myself up

open door to step

out of home or car

am pushed back 

the cold draught of air

makes me pull back

and shiver against metal 

or the wall

and i know

its not the rotten weather -

i've left behind the blanket

your memory that's my shawl -

yes its you

that i miss.

अजीब दुविधा

अजीब दुविधा है -
धर्म पकडूँ, या योग ?
योग करूँ तो
तुम मिलो
तुमसे मिलूँ फिर
धर्म कहाँ?

Rabba -
don't test me so
all i have is from you
and so is
self control.

ख्वाब गुस्ताख सही मासूम होते हैं
- गुनाह तो नज़रों का है
जो खाव्मखाह ही
ख्यालों के कारवां में
उम्मीद ढूंढती है ...


in response to Sunita Singh Goyal's beautiful poetry:

ख़्वाब गुस्ताख़ होते हैं 

बिना जिए  नहीं मरते हैं ...

और होते हैं पत्थर-दिल भी,

किन्हीं मजबूरियों से नहीं पिघलते हैं ...

हाँ कभी-कभी थककर सो जाते हैं,

फिर बहुत देर तक नहीं उठते हैं ....

और कभी डर जाते हैं

छोटे बच्चों की तरह और,

बिना नींद भी सोने का नाटक करते हैं ....

पर ख़्वाब गुस्ताख़ होते हैं, 

बिना जिए  नहीं मरते हैं ....

ख्वाबों की नींद को कई बार,

लोग समझ लेते हैं उनकी मौत,

कुछ दिन मातम मनाते हैं,

फिर आगे बढ़ लेते हैं ....

पर सोये हुए ख्वाब, इक दिन जागते हैं,

कभी चुपके चुपके अंगड़ाईयां तोड़ते,

आँखें मलते, परिपेक्ष को पहचानते,

और कभी बच्चों से शोर मचाते,

चिडचिड़ाते, माँ से दूध मांगते,

उठ जातें हैं जीने के लिए ....

क्योंकि जब तक जिएंगें नहीं,

उन्हें मौत नहीं आएगी...

ख़्वाब गुस्ताख़ होते हैं, 

बिना जिए  नहीं मरते हैं 

patience

Winter's deep
ice yet to thaw
trees now bereft
having shed leaves of sorrow
wait to be taken
by spring
then sweet -
watch how
with seasons' change
we'll watch
catch all colours
to make rainbow
together in awe!

खाली हूँ
मन मालिक फिर से हाथ पसारे
पड़ाव दाल दिया है यहीं
झोली भर दो ...

Thank You

i valiantly took another strike
of Cupid
to turn heart
inside out -
the old puckered scar was holding back
and You said its alright
to pull it out
Now that the job's done
i'll gently unpluck, extract
from this fresh bleeding wound
the healing dart
to gratefully hand it back to You
then I will
sow, stitch and salve
be ready to move on
but before i take lighter steps
for journey that takes to You
let me bow down in grace
and say
a very big Thank You.

चारा

खौलते पानी का ताप
कम करने के दो ही चारे हैं
या तो आंच मद्धम कर दो
या पानी बढ़ा दो -
आंच मेरे बस में नहीं
सो मैंने
मटका पलट दिया।

hazard warning

note
exercise caution
at times antidote
can take form
of a poison

Wish list

Please take note

that I wish to:

See you for a whole day
looking just the face

sleep peacefully in arms at night

slumber an afternoon atop 
silence of tree-house

sail on backwaters with 
you by my side 
gaze sky asail from houseboat

with moon smiling, stars shooting 
across my eye

sit pensively by the lake

do yoga on sand and meditate, 
while ocean laps on 
to soak dry 'n' thirsty shore

watch a happy movie together

and share songs that delight

each has a collection

that's gathered over life's stride,

touch flowers to soothe ache 
in pining pores of finger

i'll gently caress then 
longingly with looks of soul
using single weed try and trace 

time-lines and touch contours 
of grooves and scar that adorn 
firm side of the face

will read a book lazily
hiding in a meadow

ride rightfully with content

lying wholesome on your back,

chewing morsels from love's hand
lick smear'd ice cream with a smack,

sip water from a cupped palm

then drink scenery
leaning, resting on your arm

glued safely onto your lithe frame

i'll hum lyrics of romance...

Wait there's more

- i wish to pay pilgrim 

to places you visit during day

and smoothen bedspread
you rested on then ruffled with 
at night

and hug her near and warm 
to gather all fragrances
of being my love's soul-mate
then play with him who's apple 

of your ever tender sight

salute soul that held you safe 
in womb, and greet father 
he had sired 
to hold you in his pride

meet friends with whom you share

laughter, many tales of woe

the brother with whom you

squabbled and sister 
who lovingly ties the rakhi 
each year on your wrist -

through them i've to reach you
through them i'll know
why fate delivered unasked for -
me to you
i really need to know;

and then 

when dream's over

I'll bow 
part for ever
to fanatically follow my faith map

will bid adieu
with happy happy smile

just before i do that but
sweetheart do remind
i have to chant my prayer
on tasbeeh round the neck
i'll dissolve thru' the jugular 
pulse throb through wild in carotid.
to place myself 
at home and safe 
in seat of beloved's heart.

ले लेना

 पेज और पाज़ेब
संभाले रखें है
कि जाने कब फिर
वापसी की मांग हो -
वैसे भी मूझे
जल़ाना दफनाना
नहीं आता।

Desire

I want to steal sip
stubbornness off
your very lip
so i could assert
in fair firmness
and say - No.

i have emptied

Flashlights shone

into my closet 

showed -

You're the only One

left that
I can't let go.

i swear
when i've been to seaside
especially at dawn and night
i've heard
the ocean breathe
heavy sighs of release
and growl of content
when it returned
after making love
kissing, churning
every particle
of grains of sand
on its ever silent shore.

क्योँ ?

तुम्हे पता है न -
तुमको ही देख सुन कर
अपने अहसासों के घोल
में समेट कर
मैं अपना वजूद मुकम्मल
करती  हूँ

फिर क्यों चुप की चिलमन
तान ली?

मेरे अधूरेपन में
तुम्हारी विजय रखी है।

he asked
how many years
are you old?

ummm, let me see
i said:
mind i know
is wizened with wisdom
of a hundred seasons' fold;
limbs and body
have toiled in total
forty-seven
but for heart
i'm not so sure
its home
to eternal soul
and as far as i remember
i've always heard
it beat
with sweet
rhythm of a sixteen year
old!

अम्मा मुझे छुपा लो -
तेज़ हवाएं है और बला का सैलाब
उस में कुछ बूँदें मेरे आंसू की शामिल हैं -
और मुझे तैरना नहीं आता!

hand of God

i've read
when against all odds
when randomness strikes
its dart sharp
claws deep
on surface of a life
its Your hand
that is at play -
why then should
i spend sense
on ponder
find logic, reason
to explain
will i end in
hell or heaven'll
be my domain?

बदलते वक़्त ने इस जिस्मो दिल पे
कई निशाँ दाग़ छोड़े हैं
किन किन की वजह
किन किन का पता पूछोगे ?

गिरते हैं, सँभलते हैं -
हम तो अब 'या अली' कह के भी
फिसलते हैं !

irony

24/7 soulmate? -
don't we all need
and spend a lifetime
hoping to meet
at this cross road
or when
it turns into next
hoping we'll fall
in arms of one
who's best:
totally in sync
with heart
....................
and so it goes
we love, we long
missing to connect
with the One that
we belong.

बाहर बर्फ की चादर बिछी है 

यूं जैसे चांदनी सरक आई हो 

सडकों पे -

शायद पता है कि इन अँधेरी गलियों में 

कुछ विरान दिल बसते हैं।

Yogi
its easy 
to breathe, bow, bend
and chant -
its harder 
to keep restraint!

प्रस्ताव

जानती हूँ
जब ये मिट्टी ढलेगी
माथे पर सलवटें सजेंगी
कमर खमीदा कर दांत झडेंगे
तो मरघट के सन्नाटों के दरमियाँ  
सिर्फ मैं और तुम
क़रीब होंगे -

फिर क्यूँ तकूँ
मैं किसी ओर

मुझे अपना लो।

snow walk

I've walked about

in rain before

on else's tip toe -

so today I felt

like experimenting

with steadily falling snow.

Hastily dressed

I left the house

in a soul baring fleece

I chose to run -

too keen to test 
and dare the ice.

Does cold within

when layered on

with further flakes

serve to toughen,

the mould -

or will it melt

me to flow without

with watering of eye

and nose?

It's for this

I thumped with my feet

racing ground 

to perceive

feel and find -

no blight, no blaze

settled down

steam billowed

off my gasping mouth

i was rasping 
breath of fire.

It wasn't me

but flakes

that melted

and their tenderness 

touched my core -

with tears came out

knowing self

in all of a sudden 
downpour.

I knew 

now ferrous certain.

its my heart 

that is at fault -

it just never 

ever ceases to scorch

and snow'll not 

soothe or mend

it's been cast

its been set on fire

of its own!

salutations

Only You could bind

scattered grains of earth

dough with water

turn to clay

with ignite of fire

fan the passion

in empty vessel

then mightily blow

of own Spirit

to transform 

raise humble ground

to sweetly kiss

sky at its horizon:

with one utterance

of 'Be'

You released from

space that bounds -

Man was set

on journey

from dust to Divine.

मैंने
बुनना सीना सीख लिया
तुम्हारी कविता से कर्ण लगा के
फिर जो
अपना कम्बल देखा -
एक फटे कोने से बरबस
मेरा ठंडा मन झांक रहा था
तो फिर सीना शुरू किया
एक और कच्चे  धागे
से सुई पिरो
मन ठिठुरन को ठीक किया
सीवान का उधड़न
जब गया संभल
सोचा गुरू को सप्रीत बता दूँ
गुलज़ार -
मैं ने तो
सीना बुनना सीख लिया।

Refer Gulzar's poetry: yaar julahe...

Richard Parker

ज़िन्दगी का तूफान साथ ले आया
मेरे हमसफ़र
तुम कहीं
मेरे 'Richard Parker' तो नहीं?

Refer: Life of Pi

why?

for now
I've only
one question in mind -
Why?

there're no answers given
yet-
so i choose to keep shut
...for now.

stay as you are
floodgates just be
i'm not ready
hold me steady
amidst rush of waves
in water
the deluge reckons
i'll be footloose -
for I've sapped
romance in air.

सीने में सुलग जो हो तो
बर्फ पे भी समाधी लगती है यारो!

یارانہ

دل کا ایک خالی گوشہ 

چپ کی چادر، چاہت کا کلمہ

در پے 'لا الہٰ' کا قفل لگا

 -دھڑکن پوچھے
ہے قرب کہاں؟

why?

i had no intention
to suffer
feel pangs of palpitation
that love evokes
and yet this connection
of heart is
a random resurrection
for soul
to heal, feel passion
perhaps yearn
a wee bit more
to live again.

लो लब सिये लेते हैं
इस आरज़ू मे कि ख़ामोशी से
तुम्हारे आमद की सरगोशी
का अहसास तो हो।

coffee pitcher

i peer deeply

in lukewarm cup -

it held my latte
to study fate
i was born with.

now that froth

has subsided

like old witch
an expert sorcerer
i glare to will
change without stir
from remnants of coffee
i glean
from who 

i was meant to be
the one i wanna be.

अब तो तुम्हारी ही कहानी चलेगी
रब चाहे रखो
या फिर जला डालो प्रेमाग्नि में -
हाँ भस्म की  राख
जब वक़्त की ससरती हवाओं के स्पर्श से
सिसकियाँ भरेगी
बज़ुबाने अदब मेरी रूह कहेगी -
इस चिता पर आग तुमने ही धरी थी।

تقدیر کی ٹھوکریں
ھر نصیب کو
اپنی منزل کے کچھ اور قریب
.لا ہی دیتیں ہیں

 آزمائشیں وقت کی
انس  و شیطان کا فرق
.سمجھا ہی دیتی ہیں

طبیعت کفر سے جب  ہمکنار
سچائی کی مانگ  رکھتی ہے
قدرت حوصلہ افزائی کو
. پردہ  دھا ہی دیتی ہے 

सवाल

अब के बरस
क्या देना है और क्या दे
ले लेना है?

हर साल निरंतर ताक  चुकी
अनुभव से पहचान चुकी
देना और फिर ले लेना
तुम्हारी रचना है
तुम से पा हंस
बिन शिकवा लौटा देना
हर दीन पार्थव की
अल्प अर्चना है।

Colours of life

The child spread
hands to the skies
believing it'll choose
to gather
it's rainbow
in a playful fold
Onto his lap
for all colours
to joyfully blend
reflect the eternal
radiance.

The youth
then reared
raised an impatient head
choosing the absolute
- black or white
dared to meet
life at stark terms
with blaze of red
that sizzle soul
he sowed
to reap in earnest
the labours
of earnest passion
he desired a lustrous
harvest.

The old
Turned wise -
with a touch of grey
he opted, withdrew
to fringes where hue
of day with night
merged silently
in non-judgmental way
with passion all pent
sought to surrender
when seasons changed
there weren't no wrong
or right -
in sage's book of rules
he just wanted to be
until his hour of decree
plain being is what ultimately
matters.