प्यार की मर्यादा

बरसों बरस बीत गये

फिर भी सादा साथ

और उस साथ में

सरल प्यार का अहसास

बिन कहे और सुने

करवा रहा है
मूक सही बतला रहा है
रूह को रूह की पहचान

यह हमारे अस्तित्व के

अकेले सच का आभास-

हर काल, उल्लास, वेदना,
या उन्मुक्त भावना 

रिती रिवाज, परिवार से परे

मान अवहेलना के तंग दायरों से मुक्त

बिना कुछ लिये या दिये
प्रिय -

मुझे तुम से अब भी
बेवजह प्यार है ।

Love story that lasts

In true love

the two never meet

says he - so accept

love stories don't last

as noted on pages of history;

I stop in pause

hey isn't that being judged

based on haps

within a moment's snap

when in greater scheme

looking long and broad

we see - 

the eternal tale

of Maker and Man

continues unscathed

bearing promise that story

is meant to last 

uniting spirit with source

beyond meters of time and space

that's the only story meant

to forever last.

another journey begins...

i start anew everyday

hoping this time with my hand in Yours

on this day

i will be led

past deserts and wild

on to a green

that’s shaded with joy

no clouds of sorrow float by

lowliness and loneliness is a myth

that’s spoken only with fond memory

for company of self 

is a happy truth today

fear's been driven off

and demon daren’t look back again

for hero that led campaign

sits gloriously garbed in faith 

with easy peace in descent

bringing shawl 

of surrender and warmth

here i'll lay to rest my will

knowing full well

tomorrow will be another day.

आन मिलो

हर पथिक की तरह

मैंने भी एक ही सच पाया है

जिसे सब खो तुम मिले 

धन्य भाग!

और जिस ने सब पा

तुम्हें हरा तो अभाग

इस सफ़र में

उसने क्या पाया है?

Infinitely in Love

He asks -

What does it mean

to love infinitely for infinity

and I ponder

on loves of my life;

all were good

all gave and took away

with every breath and sigh,

there was Only One however

that with Hand so constant and steady 

took to me in terror and tremble

so sure and gentle 

He drew me close when 

I fumbled and 

had utterly, completely given up

time and time again
unheard, unasked, unseen
He took charge - to lead
from unreal to real

from untruth to truth

darkness to light

from bondage of earth

vastness of open sky was revealed 

He persevered 

when I floundered!

In tiniest wisp of my emotion thus

this heart bears witness

of what I came to know thereby

with all certitude hence

I say -

His Love alone is infinitely infinite

all else mere and slight.

कल्पना से प्रत्यक्ष तक

हवा के भी पंख होते हैं

जब हम आस व आशा

का दम भर

सिसकियों के करवट बदलते हैं -

पोर पोर सिहरा

हर रोम को सहला

हलके दबे पाँव

पलकों से ख़्वाब उठा

मन की लरगोशी से

संगीत चुरा - मददहोश लय

फिज़ाओं में कुछ यूँ

बिखेरते हैं कि प्रत्यक्ष रेगमय

हो उठे उस इंद्रधनुषी प्रतिबिम्ब से

जो कल्पना के पट पर

ख़ुद हम बिखेरते हैं -

सो तुम्हारी चाहत अब मेरी धुन हैैै

लब पे मिलन का है गीत

चित्र पट की लकीरों

में मैंने बस तुम्हारा नाम

कर दिया है अंकित ।

i am ordinary

don't pour in my ear 

words of empty ardour -

they're meaningless

i know full well

and so do you too

i'd rather be ordinary

pall into insignificance 

in your embrace

be held safe in your arms

than be announced 

and pronounced

- as sacrificial special

especially by you.

अगर चित का कटोरा 

तुम्हारे नाम की नमी से

पहले ही पुर हुअा होता

फिर इश्क़ की प्यास में

सरे बाज़ार

दिल क्यूँ बदनाम होता ?

Pulse of universe

My heart beats in me

Sends blood rushing 

To let tips and toes  

Vibrate with pulse

That makes me arch and rise

To smell, hear and see

Beyond slums of mundane

Lies surge that brings

Life in waves to my shore;

I sense -

All that's here 

reverberates  with pulse

That begins in Thee.

With them in love

I read of Tagore

And feel the ache that fills

The heart of so many 

From Aurelius to Rumi

Wise Plato, Arabi, Socrates, Aristotle

And then so many more

Unknown, unheard of names

Drawn by mist and allure

Of Your beauty

Pursuing fragrance 

In their trail -

They turned from world

And You turned to them

And lo time had spun

Yet another God-Man love tale

To fire spirits

Of more to come

In quest of fulfilment

We seek to sip, taste alone

Sweetness of your ale.

Thou art That!

Si si

Tat tvam asi

Through every you 

I express my love

And through you and you

I am loved

By He.

रात सोने को है अब

सो सोचा सुबह की पौ फटने 

से पहले बतला दूँ

तुम बेहतरीन हो रब ।

La ilaha illallah

I want self to heed 

when I'm wrung 

and hung up to dry,

an inner voice 

speaks in whisper

on the wisdom of my time.

Sometimes when we 

surrender to Him our soul

in humble offer

with naive innocence 

then we claim and vow

through chants and invocation

We call -

then He who pines as much

to receive from us love in truth

takes it in His turn 

to question,

and as such

He unwaveringly puts us 

thru life's litmus test

to sieve out true worth

of expressed devout emotion

from transient throe of passion

which solely wants

to control and to possess.

When our world's 

not hunky dory

we're spun topsy turvy,

He returns with humour wry

seemingly upon countenance 

brows arch to quirk

His query's heard with a smirk -

come on dare, do answer

Can now you say

in all earnestness 

do you really do believe

trust and love  Him 

alone - and no other?

do you still so choose, proclaim

in His name say - O Sage

that indeed nowhere else

you'll ever take refuge?

I felt love

I wanted to express

Tenderness of thoughts

Searches for words 

And finds refuge in utterness

Of simply saying: 

I love You.

Love or fear?

Yesterday I caught a glimpse

Passing by the Windows

Of world

I'd left behind -

All seemed to be going places

As spoke postings and timelines

As I sit here enclosed

Feeling safe in silence

Seeking your presence

For company

Ardently I guard my space

Then wonder 

Is it scare of lost wander

Or strength to wait

For love that's tender

That guides this choice?

बरसो बहार

ज़िंदगी बहार से

उधार माँगती है

प्रेम लत तज

हर रंग से सज

फिर जीने का

क़रार माँगती है -

सो दिल ने कहा है

सुनो इस बरस तुम

खुल के बरसो बहार।

क्यूँ पूछते हो?

तुम पूछते हो -

क्या कर रही हो तुम?

मैं सोचती हुँ

वही तो कर कर रहें

हर हम-तुम -

ख़ुद के साथ रह सह

अाप से अापी को कह

समय के प्रवाह संग बह

जी रहें सभी अपनी लय में

मन के अंतराल मे गुम।

Life is so sour sweet

Experience of life speaks -

It's sour and sweet

Its every pulse every beat

Is designed as such

To Bring heart close by

To perceive wonders

Of Haqq, Hikmah and Hayy

A touch of spice

A grace of bland

Arduous heights

Tumultuous low

In all I see -

The life's ebb and flow

Serves as friend and alibi

It is a means to restore

The wanderer is brought

Home from being adrift 

He's pulled back to shore.

हैरान हुँ -

मेरी ख़िज़ां के ज़िम्मेवार

गुलों के रंगो बू का 

मुझ से ख़ुमार मांगते हैं

बंदगी में ख़ुदाई से 

हुँ मैं तलबगार

कि उनके चमन में रहे 

सालो साल वह बहार

जिसके पैमाने का

मेरे सिम्तो सू से 

वो क़रार माँगते हैं!

अलविदा

जाओ सब जाओ

याद फ़रियाद

यहाँ ना वक़्त है, ना मकान

मेरे दिल की हर गली

है अब विरान

मुझे बस इस खामोश आँगन

के सन्नाटों में

सिर्फ विर्द समेत

बसने दो।

In this hour of night

When silence vies with light

I sit with Him

And ask

Let dawn break

Take me to another day

My soul wants taste

Death closer in life.

I wait for the teacher

In green of the meadow

Where Spring is in bloom

A petal with translucence of white 

And tender pink in hue

Catches attention -

On it rests light

A whole drop of dew 

from the gone past night

Boldly it lures sun to smile

Inviting a ray of light

At dawn  

To pierce heart of its liquid form

Through lost virginity

In exquisite togetherness

Is perceived -

A 'Knowing' of light is born

Tearing apart 'not knowing' of night

A myriad colours daze and sparkle 

In several shades

That glint and gleam

To exude exquisiteness

That's been never beheld before

By a seeing sight. 

This spring

It's this beauty 

That's brought 

A catch to my breath

Despite chill in air 

I've donned a shawl to venture near

The fountain of knowledge

That springs from You

Rests in orchard near

It beckons to quench thirst for You

From close I want sip

So I call to let longing be known

Then with humility 

Here I kneel and bow

I take my seat 

On Your green 

I wait for the teacher to arrive.

Having a good day

I turned my corner

And heard, 

A voice called out -

Good after-morning 

I skipped

I smiled

Headed on my walk 

through noon

To greet good afternoon

With sunshine on the high

I folded wings

With a content sigh 

Saw sun to its setting pink

With a good evening 

On the nigh

I know for sure

Though bones ache sore

I will slumber sound

Dreamlessly a good night

My dream was seen

And lived to full

With knowing light of day

And day dreamer when goes to bed

sleep is bedded light.

Natural and Sacred

Nature is bare

Opulent, profane

Sacred is beauty,

In veil -

So when Adam fell

Eden was lost to earth

Out of favour

He heard call

Soul urged for return

From carnal state

To pick self up

In repentance

He sought to sacralise 

His return could  

Only be 

If he donned 

Eternal garb of Divine.

A nickel to spare?

Is there a nickel 

on you to share?

he asked gently,

with a - Ma'am. 

Sure. it's in here

So keep 

I fisted a few to hand

then jaunted cheerily 

to say - after all 

it's there only

to put food in belly

that sharpens body and soul

its not meant 

to sully mind

with a pint of beer or ale.

I saw a smile

break to bare

a hearty humor in spirit

tipping hat
with a tilt 

as I filled the can

its keeper said -

so now I've to 

remember that?

he grinned and hissed 

Oh Damn!

I see, hear, smell, taste and sense

They ask:

Why you pray?

I say:

Doing so I see

light of hope

in my day.

They ask:

Why you fear

I say:

I hear 

a single slip might

take You away.

They ask:

Why you stay away?

I say:

I smell 

danger lurk in 

world's snare

I dwell safer

In my own well.

They ask:

Why you love?

I say:

Doing so I strove

to taste Your Presence 

in my soul.

They ask:

Why you give?

I say:

I live to give 
get sense

that makes me receive 

more of You. 

Knowing the Hadid (Iron)

It's written in the Book - You see 

By virtue of being

All Seeing One

And for You are 

Hidden and Explicit One

Latent and manifest outwardly

Ringed, held sanct

In every form

You know 

All that there is

To know.

Knowledge inevitably so

Is very essence of Thee 

And to draw of it

Is salvation

So the Wisdom of wise

Does speak -

Then tell me what and how

Of being free

Of this thirst

That brings my soul

To Your well

Call water bearer

Let him water

Depths of my rusted pail. - You see 

By virtue of being

All Seeing One

And for You are 

Hidden and Explicit One

Latent and manifest outwardly

Ringed, held sanct

In every form

You know 

All that there is

To know.

Knowledge inevitably so

Is very essence of Thee 

And to draw of it

Is salvation

So does the Wisdom of wise speak -

Then tell me what and how

Of being free

Of this thirst

That brings my soul

To Your well

Call water bearer

Let him water

Depths of my rusted pail.

دل او مومن و دماغش کافر است

اقبال نے بتلایا تو ہم نےاپنا روگ جانا

دل ہے مومن اور ذھن ٹھہرا بےٹھکانا

ہے دعا اب  یا ربب 

 -دل کو ہے کہلانا 

اے دل تو جاۓ سکوں سے 

للّه نا کھسک جانا 

معرفت کی لو دو 

دماغ ہو تابندہ 

.آ جایگا جیسے پروانا 

प्यास बाक़ी सही

ख़ामोश तुम्हारी दी 

ज़िंदगी का घूँट

पिये जाएँगें

चाहे प्यास को आसूदगी

मिले ना मिले,

ना कोई सवाल है

ना इसरारे जवाब 

का है यहां मुकाम,

साथ साक़ी का है

सिर्फ़ रूह को दरकार 

फिर चाहे सोज़ अतश को 

सैराबगी का जाम 

मिले ना मिले ।

अकेले कहाँ हैं हम तुम?

अकेले कहाँ हैं हम तुम

हर रूह के साथ

इक भीड़ जुटती है

कुछ ख़्वाब कुछ ख़्याल

तोड़ते मरोड़ते 

बस यूंहीं से सवाल

इस सरकते कारवाँ में

अकेले कहाँ हैं हम तुम? -

तनहाई बस ख्वामख्वाह 

पैरों से लिपटती है ।

working on being human

Take no offence

I share just
as a matter of note

I know not 

what it is

to be Divine

what I know for sure 

surfing through pages of time

it's not easy 

being Human

as willeth Thine!

वक़्त कब रूका है?

हंसो और खुश रहो

कि ज़िंदगी छोटी है 

और वक्त है कम

न जाने कब हो 

इस की, उसकी 

आँख नम

तो स्वयं को थाम 

वक़्त को अपनी 

रफ़्तार से जाने दो

हँसी ख़ुशी का जाम 

हर महफ़िल में 

बस छलछलाने दो.

I want to emulate

Valmiki - the robber

who turned to scribe.

He looted many a wayfarer

before changing course.

Confession,on other hand

for me, my sin's been 

allowing loot

of my wayfaring soul

So penance 

is a yearn

deep within is desire 

to be still

like him be veiled

behind ants' home

taking inward turn 

and hum

of incessant chant 

let me be at rest

In peace 

Tathastu

Dua

As many ways

So many voice

The message of call

Remains nevertheless same

A communique

From one to ONE 

To ask

It says -

Shalom, Salam, Peace

And here I too join 

with a heartfelt Amen

To all.

Reality

Ali said to Kumayl

About what I strove to understand:

Reality is -

more than

what's sought as truth 

it's perceived by heart

without being pointed at

it comes from knowing 

by virtue of You

when Oneness illumines

it's enticingly clear

without speculation of doubt 

magnificence is manifest 

without cover or cloud.

Its awareness is graced

in faith of devout

for no illusions remain

or veil to peel

without shred of shroud

Reality just is -

unchanging, unflickering all-about 

it's Seer within

who to prepare for reveal

with fervour of seeker 

brings thirst to spring

from scorch of fire

set alight by desire
he's co-erced 

to reach and bring

quench to his soul 

he begins to sing.

Reality is 

it that heeds his call

it forges forth 

to save grope in dark

and to alleviate 

lone night's toll

when dawn does break

enlightening his path

a ray of morn

by touching his earth

extinguishes the need 

for lamp to be lit

darkness is done with

once ignorance suffers fall
the one with sight
sees it all -

All that is then

Reality is.

I want to reach the kernel

Taste sweet pulp of the fruit

Raw husk that hides nectar

Needs more than my tooth

So many hands offer

Instruments of all size

Pen knife to axes 

Are extended by aide

As the eager urge

to take side

I choose like Arjun 

To stand stubbornly aside -

Let help come to seeker

With aid of Your might.

बस बचपन ही खरे सच की पहचान है

सच्चाई में खोट बढ़ती उम्र का लगान है -

सो ऐ रब मुझे बच्चा ही रख!

I am not a mother

I am mere care taker 

Of their soul

And in remuneration

I've received more 

Much more than my share

From time 

Of first stirrings felt

When new life began

Those given to me

To shelter for short while

became lifelong friend

Angels in guard for me

They hugged me close to warm

Held light when darkness dwelled

And eyes got weak to see

They alerted to

Hushed steps of gloom

Whenever it advent near

I was lightened so with shared laugh

In harmony our songs were sung

With love in rhyme 

hope in melody;

In storm 

We stuck close

Each served other as rudder

To steer clear 

and dry to shore -

Importantly I've known this 

And will always know

for sure - while there's distance 

For now, however

whenever my coat's hung

For final lie 

I'll hear them cheerily walk along

Carrying flowers in their bloom

Singing with gay and gale in tone

To make me smile as I lie lone

When they say with love

I'll cheer yea, yea

We were merry 

We were  happy 

We are glad that we were made to dwell

Together as family.

I love you loads Somu, Momu.

Reed to flute

Hollowed reed 

fashioned to flute;

holes set, cut, 

carved meticulously out

to place the notes

that joyously

play Your tune,

do listen then 

All-Listening One -

It's Your song 

being sung

still waiting to be

complete in composition.

Holi is here

Holika will burn tonight

On pyre

Shall be as humble offer

All that I've been so far

For fear has left, 

My being isn't any more

Afraid of being left bereft

Not being loved ever forever.

With surge -

In transience of flames 

I'll witness fire

Of passion and ardour rise 

In splendour 

to sate the skies

Hues will fade

When smoke is clear

Letting go 

Of want of what's only 

part of whole

I'll take strength 

from transcendence of wholesome Truth -

From ashes 

Splashes of new life do spring

Sure as from winter unravels the Spring

As Holi dusks in

I'll be content 

To find my haven in

soothe of the White.

Spell of the Name

All questions dissolve

As I sip elixir of your Name

Sitting in love

I set free

Every molecule

Disintegrates off self to soak

Sweetness of litany's shake

Thirsting for more

I call

Come Shaykh

Recite verse to initiate

My soul is ready to transform.

I love You Allah

For the nutre, respite

Tender healing care

I have received

From Your Grace.

Keep me close

Keep me safe 

Keep me warm

For all I have 

All I seek

All I want

Lies within circle 

Of Your embrace.

جسم شکستہ ہے 

روح کو ہے طاب 

--ہو تمہاری عطا رب 

مجھے شمس کی ہے تلاش 

At the Sun-door

Ananda Kentish Coomaraswamy (1887-1947) wrote: "When the deceased reaches the Sundoor, the question is asked, 'Who art thou?'"

I've come to Sun-door
and the old man with beard
with severity
asks with stamp of staff on ground:
"Who are you?"
I smile and bow
kneel down with humility
then say:
I'm one who was taught
to see
truth of love
that's there to stay
can only belong to Divinity
all that came my way
couldn't be labelled as chance or serendipity,
when storms raged across
my dry desert land
I stood up, peered through
tipping on toes to scan
I saw
all that blew my way
to consume, devour
from vice turned to virtuous
unconditional and undemanding - His love
alone stood by me
so here bear witness man
that I see today
with crystal clarity -
I'm His
captive in love
signing off bond of unquestioning servility
I am ready
to be ripped apart
torn gladly to bits
when summoned forth
I will gladly serve
Him and His, for all that is He.

I love You Allah.

محبّت خلق دے کرجرم شرک کا الزام دھرتے ہو 

فناے عشق میں اپنی بقا کا پیغام بھرتے ہو؟

تمہاری ہر عدا  ہر  فیصلہ منظور ہے خالق

جو میرے ساتھ  شفاے معشوق کا  بھی انتظام کرتے ہو

Cook me slow

Keep heat low
cook me on slow
tender as I am,
even though still raw
I'll be done -
just right
give me a wee bit
more time.

जागते रहो की गुहार 

लगा रहा मन का पहरेदार

जो चूक हुई इस बार 

लग्ज़िश, ठठकी, चौकस भटकी 

इक पल झपकी 

तो प्रिये 

रहना प्यासी इसी  पार!

Reborn

I was asleep
when You shook me wake
rocking, raking through and through
to see the Light
and at dawn begin to
know the call of Truth;
with Reality check
shadows started to flee
illusions faded
leaving eyes on clear
vision reached out to see
I felt then hearing strain
to listen and to heed
what purpose You
raiseth one and all
with rebirth
life began for me.

Knock not here

Who are you calling for?

No need to knock 

upon this door

for person you seek to speak

lives no longer here.

She's left
this home to reside far 

maybe in heavenly abode

Or gone to hell

for all I care;

I killed her

choking with my very hand

put her to rest in safe ground

I'm worn out now

have just returned 

with flowers to lay 

as wreath 

her grave's next door

I can put your name 

to it too, if you say

to make peace,

bless the wretched soul

here write, some scribble

to say 'bye and 'bye
on post-it  

I've glued 
by door beside 
to say:

Sabina that lived

lives here no more

apologies all if any miss 

she was sorry misfit 

in my world and your

she deserved not to stay.

She really had to go.

Take away your shadow -

don't dare cast

web of your thoughts 

on me anymore,

especially since in value

you care not in least

to join hands

preserve trust in light of Truth. 

Yes leave me alone

you do not belong 

between Him and me

I will crawl
I will scramble

From dark I'll drag
self out of hole

make every molecule
every particle strive

in attempt

at the very least 

to make Him see

among 7 billion 

me and my broken bowl

extends to Him alone

to receive anoint

for healing of 
my fractured soul.

Did I ask more

Than You desire

For me?

It's alright 

I with humility

recognise -

The infinite wisdom

Of Your decree.

Lead - I can't see the path

When did I ever pretend

That I am strong?

I am weaker than the blade

Of that grass

so easily trampled upon

And it twists, turns

This way and that 

Whichever direction wind blows on

I live so easily to die

In ignorant extinction

In every living moment

I am on verge

To sin and do wrong

So let there be no doubt

About that what I ask

In every prayer
that's a call upon You,

I say -

I need to be led

Not just shown the way...
Lead - I can't see the path.

Apology

Let me say

in repentance

that I err again and again

to unreasonably expect

my love to be returned

in reciprocation.

For what's given back

isn't mine, nor his or her 

for that matter

I am alone in choice 

to love those around

fill self as vessel
receive what's so exquisitely Divine
then that which comes my way 

through one heart or another

is mere reflection

of whats been bestowed 

of You they do distribute
what feels right
and is theirs to give
why bother then 
becomes mine?

Its Your gift

that I've received  

Whether in hurt or spurn

it comes sealed with Your kiss

handed through him or her

its couriered to my humble place
what choice have I 

but to accept
take it with grace
even if it's despise 

left alone to hand?

With this realization 
what cometh now

I receive with somber bow
no solace sought

there's no complaint

no question there 
to ask.

Did I ask for more

Than You desire

For me?

It's alright 

I do recognise

It's always

Wisdom that decides

Your decree.

Obituary

Tumhare daste karam ki qudrat

Isme Rabb se shifa mil gayi

Jo baat Hubbe Ali

Se ho shuroo, phir

Kalma-e- La ilaha tak gayi

Sirf shia thi main ab talak

Lo Sufi bhi Sabina ban gayi!

Khul ja Sim Sim

I said I'd been 

Waiting to be answered

trying hard

To be let in

Through the Door;

Woe - said the other

When was it ever closed?

He kept calling

Do come in,

And heedlessly 

There you stood

Went on knocking 

At the open door!

Take away the rainbow

Last night

A deluge of tears

Washed away all trace

Of pink, violet and red

Yellow and green

Don't seem to matter too

All that my heart 

Asks for now

Is from colours

Of blue and white

In You.

Unveiled

Hey hey hey

Sufi's talking 

of esoteric nature of veil

Its there to hide yet reveal

says he:

beauty is hidden

to let lover seek

true essence of form

and, ahaa thinks me

so is that why this game 

of hide and seek?

It sets out an eternal theme,

mortal - no wonder

is irresistibly drawn

to reach out
remove cover to meet

the Divine within
alluring veil of matter! 

Divine Alchemy

I expand

I constrict

Resist and desist 

Slapped and smacked

Then lulled by gentle Hand

Through turbulence 

I discover peace

Oh how exquisite

Is with Your name cast

Alchemy of a soul. 

Seek and you shall find

As I look around

In this jungle

With a maze of many a well-trod track

Running this way and that

With agonised gaze

I crumble,

Which direction should I take

Should I give up

Or continue to walk

How do I muster strength to take

Yet another step

That'll bring me closer to God?

A promise then appears

In consciousness I hear

A whisper form

Another story of success gets told

As if to subtly say:

Don't despair

Come on walk

It's writ clear on planetary scroll -

Seek and you'll find.

Rabb, Rahman. Rahim

names that portray

the Infinite and Boundless Grace,

It encompasses all 

and sustains

continually nourishing the finite,

human spirit is drawn

back to Source  - 

as the banished yearns

to reside again 

in heaven 

be with Him.

हरी दूब दुबक रही थी 

श्वेत बर्फ़ की चादर में

मानो मूक रूप से बतलाती हो

तन मन से जो रंग उतार 

सफ़ेद अपनाउूं तो 

पथिक पद से कुचले जाने का

भास न हो, अहसास न हो .

Sufi spoke -

Love and knowledge

Are reasons for creation

Of human soul -

By that account 

haven't I lived my role,

With knowing 

That it's love 

That puts beat and pulse

In this tireless heart

Can I take leave, depart

Having lived my purpose

Overall?

In the jungle of knowledge

Where each Source 

Emphasises it's true,

It's easy 

To be lost

To be misled

To decimate to nought

Dwell in darkness

Without ever laying sight

On true Light

That enquirer sought

On his way -

As this realisation dawns

I tremble

In my diminutive form

I accept

I am weak

I am meek

Mere guidance wouldn't suffice,

So when I pray

For the straight path

Do not just guide with lamp to shine

Or Illumine desired way

Rather lead by Hand

Every step if I may

I want to hold on to you

No less than this

Can I seek

Of the Divine.

Here am I

The mirror reflects:

A matter of Your creation

Summary of experiences

Gist of my thoughts

And, sum of all action - 

So that am I

Unpacked, unboxed for Thee.

I was sowed

And seeded

In garden of humanity

As I grow 

to reach out

To kiss sun and it's ray

Can't help feeling stifled

By overgrowth in my grass

Yellow weed of past stifles 

it's shadow is cast

Come Gardener to rescue

While my hour does last

The blossom is yet

To see light of its day.

I can smell 

Spring in air

Even though there

Is no green

To feast the sight

Rustle of chill

Still touches my bone

I am sure

I do sense

Spring is near.

What do I make

of dharma or adharma 

when 'all good'
in karma

that I am introduced to
or come across

in playing field 

of life

is delivered to my door
by bearer who bore

visible stamp of belonging
to alien quarter.
not favourably listed 

in rule book 

I was shown,
schooled with to refine

my sense of knowing
of the right from wrong?

It's no secret ...

I am the director of my life 

and you yours

This is the secret 

which makes us hit the rocks

laugh, go back and bounce

wee bit higher 

on throw that comes next :)

I prefer to
connect dots
than to mingle particles
in mix, for
connection celebrates
uniqueness of all
yet unites, brings together
in strength -
in mix, whereas
each particle dissolves
diminishing individual worth
to mingle as one
in common ordinariness.

Shrouded

My shroud

I know 

has many spots

of muck thats not pretty
rather is sully;

I scan and feel
very slight

then heart heartens

at a sight.

In one corner
to the left...

yes yes away from the right,

a slender thread

stands out

slim, still and shy

pristine white

as it holds me in shroud

as one whole
with its mere might'

I trace it's trail

in utter dimness

and lo happily I find

I am held firm
through it by You, so

keep strong your clutch

hold, don't let go;

please - it's my only

hope to see the Light.

Lone walker

Turns his head

To gaze ahead

As light recedes from him

- Come take his hand

For sake of grace

Stall, stop his fall

He dared walked this trail

With belief

In darkness he'll

Never be foresaken by Thee.

It's true 

I'm driven

These embers that You set alight

Have kindled the flames

My desire leaps and roars

Regardless

Whether winds blows against

Or in favour

It seeks for soul

Heights defined by You,

Law is Divine, Logic human

Admittedly -

Your laws govern the universe

Our logic leads to understand,

Laws of nature are steeped 

in perfection, whereas logic's  vulnerable to bias and flaws

Yet when,

journey of every mortal soul

Is outcome of Your Will

And this law

Defines our life's goal -

Where's there room

For any human life to fail 

Despite their many inherent flaw?

Notice. Be Warned

Keep away

Maintain safe distance

For creation is at play

With demolition 

And buiding in my space

My being's piled up

with rubble and disarray

I'm site for reconstruction

Watch out 

The board's on display

Work is in progress here!

To be juiced by You

Was painful

And to taste nectar 

Of my crushed being

Is infinitely sweet!

Tawba

To be sorry

And to return

To  what was shown 

Signed as decree

Of unborn soul

Is my Tawba -

Lead me

Brung the blind back

Home with You.

Every desire loses it's sheen

When ii get sneak preview

Of time with You

I escape the race and rut

Just and just 

To sit cross legged 

In Your company alone :)

खुद में खूदी की तलाश जारी है

सो अब के बरस

तनहा खुदाई से मेरी यारी है।

Here is what I see in mirror 

When I check on self

In dwindling twilight

It's dusk of life and I see-

A small frame

Hollowed eyes that try with dare

Not to cry

Fingers fumble 

As i unpick

Bits and pieces 

To sew together 

Yarns and yards

Of stories, myths and lies

That world spun 

To tell me about me

With no mortal soul 

To care or caress 

A feverish forehead

I accept abandonment

Bonds of blood and heart

Are right to steer clear 

Of persona with no accolade 

or award won

No penny seen as mine

Of millions that adorn in bank

In balance then

There isn't much to add

To spell meaning to flamboyant  lives

That care to measure, then approach

I have nought

But a loving heart to give

So I stand firm to let go

See here I stand alone

With all You gave 

written to be gone

From now on

In my bare brevity 

I ask -

Do tell me

Come on state, Manufacturer

Place Your price tag 

Put Your label on me

It's time to verify

What's my worth

net value

As such what do I 

Mean to You?

I say to myself -

I am tired of your 'prem-game'

In attempt to belong in vain

Here you dither

Avoid and turn

From One

For all mundane

That've left you

Will leave again

For a greener pasture

Only Him will remain

As before 

To help pick. recover

the broken scatter

From run over ground!

On this Christmas Eve

As I replay, reminisce, relive

Happy moments that've 

Gone past 

With the year that's just gone by

The ones that stand proud

Full of joy and awe

Are the ones spent 

In truly magical journey

I met Self

In your sweet, healing company

With courage and truth

I came to know

That potion of love

Is what matters most

In greens of Elspeet

Was where I learnt

With you

To live from truth

Serve with love

And importantly accept

And be in here and now

To lead 

A true Freeman's life!

To the journey friends -Thanks for sharing the best experience  of the year 2013 with me. May more wondrous things happen as 2014 draws us into its happy fold. May there be Love and peace always to behold... Merry Christmas and happy New Year!!!

Vacancy

All I need 

Is a joker in my life

To give a shot 

Of daily laugh

That'll suffice 

To make me move

I'll bluff

My way till

Death do us part.

बहुत लम्बा है रास्ता दीन का-

अभी तो बस मुसलमान हुऐ हैं

तुम तक पलट

अनगिनत अजूबों को समझ

बा मुश्किल

बेईमान से बाईमान हुऐ हैं!

शिकवा

तो आज कहते हो -

तुम खुबसूरत हो

और वह वक़्त भी था जब

मेरी तक रही टकटकी

तुम्हारी नजरों से

अपने प्रतीत स्वरूप की 

पहचान पूछती थी

तुम्हारे अपनापे में सिमट

स्वयं का मान सम्मान

ढ़ुंढ़ती थी

और मेरा आईना़

तुम्हारा अस्तित्व

समूचे ज़माने की गरद लिए

मेरे प्रतिबिम्ब को धुमिल कर

प्रेम के नाम पर 

कुरूपता का प्रमाण पत्र 

निषठुरता से दे चल बढ़ा था

.............................

हाँ तुम्हारे ही हस्ताक्षर ने

तो मुस्कुरा कर -

आजीवन क़ैद का हुक्म दिया था -

अब आज कहते हो

तुम खुबसूरत हो!

Between life and death
hangs firm on earth

my inconstant physical form

with much sensibility and sense
it harbours and nurtures

the constant and eternal
sublime soul
I want to pen,
state today in written, certain words
I owe hugely in gratitude
its tarried forth with courage
its stalled against all odds
with certitude...
thank you!

Honouring togetherness

In the perfect imperfection 

Of my being

I've lived life 

Only to understand

It's best to rest in peace

Keep order 

Leave in respective place

all as it 

In surrender to Divine Will

So here hold hand

Help me lay wreath

On bear moments

That adorn monuments

Of the time we've spent

Lovingly together.

If I came from you...

Aboard Jet Airways

Headed home 

Where there is no love

To beckon

Just sense of duty's call

Tugs me across 

Many borders of land;

My heart's in despair

Asking nought 

But to run and run

Be Milkha of my life

To reach and 

Dive deep 

In the thick of your chest

To find final rest

Just where the Master 

Had sprung me from -

O Life, take me to my nest

In seat of my spiritual form.

Let it flow

Why am I so?

I watch any pain 

On screen

Story of unfulfilled love

Separation that I know

It's life's norm

And tears begin to roll

In deluge

Is this my own pain

That's dug out 

of deep well 

Where it was hidden

Shelved away from sight 

Shielding own sense and vision

Until when another story 

Strikes as spade bites in

On dry earth 

To make give way

For waters -

They need flow 

To wash away, clean

Murky reminisces of time.

Kuch padha

Kuch likha bhi

Dil ki sargoshi suni

Aansoo ki barsat mein sichi

Akele pan ki aag mein paki

Yuun din dhala raat ki or

Phir raat roshan huwi

Bas aise hi tanha tanha

Main din raat 

khud se khud mein basi.

Shukran Allah.

Mind points a blaming finger
At heart
Which gazes allegedly
At You -

Where does that leave me
My friends

Body, heart and mind
Am I deserted completely
By all of you?

Transitions

This place that I sit 

To watch magnificence 

Of Your creation 

Gives me vantage and view

Of two transitions -

The edge of solid land 

With rocks and dry sand

Etched against 

Tumultuous, turbulent flow

Of sea water;

And then there's the sky - pink and rose

Set further beyond 

Near the line of horizon

It bows down

To meet in humility 

The serene blue

Of still and calmed - distant sea

Marking at last

Ascent of matter

With acceptance

From the distant Heaven.

I have crossed the first line

Transcending the second 

Is my goal.

Mirage of mind

No riches

No diamonds set in stone

No lavish endowment 

No jet set race

All I wanted

Was strong arms to brace

Where a weakling soul

Could turn in for respite

In surrender - tenderly rest my head

When times got thick

Going was tough

emotions ran raw

And 'me' needed to hide

Burying my face

Deep - in smell of your chest

I was seeking my shelter

With trust in Divine

And unshakeable belief

That then at that moment

Nothing could change - 

We were one

You were mine!

Miraculous, mystical, mysterious

Are words that surface

When I fish in sea of consciousness

Hoping to catch from left overs

Of loitering waves

The shell that encapsulates

All that I have felt of You

I love You.